Page 74 of Ransom

"Nope. No point at all."

She is so fucking annoying. "But what if…" I trail off, because I don't really know how I would finish that sentence. What I said is true. I love being with my family. I worked really hard to build it strong.

But all my brothers are matched up now. They all have someone to love. They're laying in bed at night, holding their partners, and I'm watching movies with a fucking hamster.

"I'm being left behind." Again, she doesn't say anything. Just nibbles on her muffin. "They're all coupled up. They're going to have their own kids, and they're going to outgrow their apartments. There's a big ticking clock over all of it."

"How awful of them, to live these big beautiful lives. The lives you helped them build. They sound like selfish assholes."

"Stop fucking winding me up, Mags," I snarl at her. She looks completely unbothered. "Can't you let me have a fucking epiphany in peace?" Snickering into the lid of her cup, she waves her hand at me to continue.

"It's fucking inevitable. They're going to leave me." Dread unfurls in my chest, and I take a sip of my coffee to try and push it down.

Maggie's eyes meet mine over the top of my cup. "You're a parent. Kids always leave. But if you've done your job right, they're going to want to come back. They'll always come back."

"How do I know I did my job well enough?"

Her face scrunches up. "We can't know that. We can only do our best and hope. But you're healthy, Ransom. You'll be around for a long while. You have time to figure all that out."

"Way to play the cancer card. Very manipulative of you." Also damn effective. She's right. I do have time. Everything changed in the last two years. Everything is different, but it's also better. There's more life, more fun, more love.

So why can't that continue?

"I'm fucked up, Mags," I tell her, tapping my temple. "Everything is twisted up here, and I don't know how to untwist it."

"Maybe it's time to get out of your head, big guy, and start thinking with other parts of your body." My mind immediately goes to a very dirty place, and it must show on my face. She laughs, the sound making the people sitting at the table next to us smile. "Not that part. Your heart, asshole. Let your heart lead for once."

"My heart's always leading."

"Sounds like you let it lead with your family, maybe. But when it comes to you? What you need and what you want? I think you don't listen to it. And it's time you did."

"Just like that?"

She snorts and stands, tugging me to my feet. "Yeah, just like that. What's the alternative? Are you willing to spend the rest of your life wondering if you and Blair could have had something incredible?"

"No. I'm fucking not."

"There you go then. Now walk me back. I have to get to work."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Ma'am," she repeats under her breath. "Why do you have to be so mean?"

25

BLAIR

Istare at the transmission in front of me, but my mind keeps drifting to the coffee shop where I left Maggie with Ransom. My wrench slips, and I curse under my breath.

"You okay over there?" Matt glances up from the oil change he's working on.

"Fine." I wipe my hands on a shop rag. "Just distracted."

"Wouldn't have anything to do with a certain visitor in town, would it?"

I shoot Matt a look that makes him raise his hands in surrender and return to his work. Nosy asshole. Not that I blame him. I'm not myself.

If I'm honest, I haven't been myself in over a year. Not since that first offer came through and shattered the peace I'd found. The last fifteen years, I didn't think of him every day. And sometimes, when I did, I could think of those good moments instead of the way everything ended. But now, the past is coming back to haunt me and it’s fucking with my head. The talk last night was supposed to help. Forgiveness was supposed to help.

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