Page 89 of Ransom

"But he didn't trust me. Yes, I had problems with boundaries, when I was a kid! I took food off other people's plates or said things that would be considered rude. But I wasn't stupid."

"No. You were the smartest person I knew."

Her jaw clenches, and she paces away from the truck. "So what, he talked to you, and you decided to leave town?"

"No. It didn't happen like that. I wasn't going anywhere. I thought if we just didn't let ourselves be alone together, we'd be okay. It seemed like we could do that. A few years, and I'd be old enough for it to be safe for us. I never doubted my feelings for you, Blair. Not for a second. But I didn't want to put you in danger. It didn't matter that I was bigger than you or that I'd lived more life than most fifteen-year-olds. The law is the law. But keeping my hands off you was..."

"Impossible," she says, wincing. "Everything felt so...frantic when we were together."

"Exactly. I thought I could keep my hands off you. I kept it PG for weeks. But that night—" I inhale deeply, all the feelings from that night racing through my body like it just happened. "That night, I was out of control. All I could think about was you. All I could feel is you. And if he hadn't woken up, I don't think I would have stopped."

She winces, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I had condoms in my drawer. Maggie bought them for me."

"Fuck," I groan, dropping my hands to my knees, ass pressing into the grill of the Ford. "There was no way we couldlive in that house together and not end up having sex. I loved you too much."

"You loved me so much you broke up with me?" she asks. But it comes out a little less like a question and more like a statement of fact. Like she's starting to see how it all played out.

"The next morning, Robert came and talked to me again."

"Ransom, I'm begging you. If you really care about Blair, you need to end this. For her sake."

I want to argue, to fight for what Blair and I have. But as I look at Robert, at the fear and desperation in his eyes, I know he's right.

"What do I do?" I ask, hating how small my voice sounds.

Robert sighs. "You need to break up with her. And it needs to be real, Ransom. Blair won't accept anything less."

The thought of hurting Blair, of pushing her away, makes me feel sick. But the alternative—Blair in handcuffs, her future ruined because of me—is even worse.

"Okay," I say, my heart breaking with each word. "I'll do it. For Blair."

Robert nods, relief evident on his face. "Thank you, Ransom. I know this isn't easy, but it's the right thing to do."

I stand in the garage, the weight of Robert's words crushing me. The realization hits me like a freight train—I can't do this. I can't break Blair's heart and then live under the same roof, watching her every day, knowing what we could have had. It's going to destroy us both.

"I knew I wasn't strong enough to live in the bedroom next to yours for years without touching you. I just couldn't picture it. Sitting across from you at breakfast, working in the garage together. It would be bad enough breaking up with you, seeing the hurt on your face. I couldn't do it."

Cupping her elbow, I turn her to face me. "I told him I had to leave. And he didn't really try to talk me out of it. He knewour feelings were real. He also knew what it was like to be a teenage boy." I can't stop myself from rubbing her arm with my thumb, imagining I'm touching her skin instead of her plaid shirt. "Robert loved me. I know he did. But not more than you. His priority was always you. And he knew that me leaving was safest for you."

The pain in her face kills me. I would do anything to take it away. But I know the only way past it is through it.

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth back then? Why didn't he?"

"Neither one of us wanted to hurt you. And I think he was afraid of damaging your relationship. Also, and I agree with him on this one, you were a stubborn ass sometimes."

She scowls at me but doesn't disagree. I can't even remember how many times they butted heads. Blair was always strong-willed, especially when she thought she was right. And Robert, calm, cool, collected Robert, would flip his lid. Even I couldn't drive him to lose his cool, and I fucking tried. But with Blair, he'd let loose. They both seemed to weirdly enjoy fighting with each other, but those fights were usually over the right way to fix a problem in the shop or over schoolwork. Never over anything serious.

"I don't know if it was right. I don't know that if we'd had sex, anything would have happened to you. Legally, I mean. But it seemed like too big a risk to take. It's a felony. You would have been labeled as a sex offender."

"No one here would have judged us." Her voice is small, smaller than I've ever heard it.

"I don't know about that. The sheriff always seemed to have his eyes on me. All it would take is one person saying something, and he'd have no choice but to act. The law is the law. There's no room for interpretation or judgment."

She pulls away, stalking to the edge of the small hill, looking at the field beyond, head bowed, looking so alone it fucking kills me. "The things you said that night were so awful. They played over and over in my mind. They made me doubt everything," she says, voice thready.

"That whole night plays over and over in my mind too, like a bad fucking dream. I said the most hurtful stuff I could think of. I had to make sure you never wanted to see me again."

"You're just a distraction, Blair. A way to pass the time until I could get out of this hellhole. I deserve more from life than you and this bumfuck town."

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