Page 90 of Ransom

"You don't mean that," Blair whispers, her voice trembling. "Ransom, please. This isn't like you."

I clench my fists, fighting the urge to take it all back. "This is me, Blair. The real me. The one who's sick of playing house with you and your dad."

Blair reaches for me, but I step back. "Don't touch me," I snarl.

"Why are you doing this?" Blair asks, tears welling in her eyes. "I thought... I thought you loved me."

I force a harsh laugh. "Love you? You're so fucking stupid. You were just convenient. Only shit is getting complicated now. So I'm done."

The words hit her like a physical blow. She stumbles back, her face crumpling. I've never seen her look like this. I've never seen her broken. "No," she chokes out. "No, you're lying. You have to be lying."

"Face it, Blair," I say, my voice cold. "You're nothing to me. Just a stupid girl who fell for the first guy who paid her any attention."

Blair's tears are flowing freely now, her face turning blank. "Stop it," she pleads. "Please, Ransom, stop."

But I can't stop. I have to make sure she never follows me, never tries to find me. I have to break her heart so completely that she'll hate me forever.

"You want to know the truth, Blair?" I say, leaning in close. "I've been laughing at you this whole time. You and your pathetic little life in this pathetic little town. You're a joke."

Blair's face crumples, her eyes filled with a pain so deep it makes me want to scream. But I force myself to continue, to twist the knife.

"I never loved you," I say, each word tearing me apart inside. "I never even liked you. You were just a way to pass the time. And now I'm done with you."

As I walk away, I hear Blair's sobs echoing through the square. It takes everything I have not to turn back, not to run to her and beg for forgiveness. But I keep walking, each step taking me further from the only real happiness I've known since my family died.

"You did a fucking bang-up job making me hate you," Blair says, finally looking at me, eyes filled with pain as fresh as it was that night. "I felt like a zombie in a black-and-white movie, just moving through the world with no feelings or emotion. It was all survival. I ate, slept, and worked. And I did everything I could to forget about you and the horrible things you said. But I couldn't. I'd lay in bed at night and play it over and over in my mind. I didn't understand how I'd been so stupid."

The defeat in her voice guts me. Every muscle in my body screams to reach for her, to pull her close like I used to. But I lost that right. Lost it the moment I walked away and left her standing in that park, tears streaming down her face while I fed her lies about not loving her anymore.

"I'm so fucking sorry."

She flinches, then crosses her arms over her chest again, nearly hugging herself. "Finish it. What happened when you left that bench?"

I duck behind a building, my legs giving out as I slide down the rough brick wall. The mask I wore for Blair shatters, and I'm left gasping, choking on sobs that tear through my chest. My fingers claw at the ground, desperate for something to hold onto as wave after wave of pain crashes over me.

I don't know how long I sit there, drowning in my own misery. But eventually, the sobs subside, leaving me hollow and numb. I check my watch, knowing Robert's waiting for me. The thought of facing him after what I've just done makes me want to curl up and disappear.

But I can't. I have to finish this.

I spot a loose brick in a nearby wall and yank it free. The weight of it in my hand feels wrong, but I force myself to my feet. I stumble up the street, my eyes scanning for a target. There—the grocery store. Mr. Harding is just locking up.

I wait until he's halfway down the block, then hurl the brick with all my might. The crash of breaking glass shatters the quiet night. I wait under the streetlight just long enough for him to recognize me; then I turn and run.

Guilt gnaws at my insides as I sprint towards Robert's truck. These people took me in, cared for me. And this is how I repay them? I'm exactly what all those foster families labeled me as: a lost cause. But it's necessary. I need a reason to vanish. I have to make sure everyone is happy to see me gone, and a big broken window should do the trick.

Robert's waiting in his truck, his face grim in the dim light. As I climb in, he reaches out and squeezes my shoulder. The gesture nearly breaks me all over again.

We drive in silence, the darkness of the countryside swallowing us up. I can feel Robert's eyes on me, full of concernand something else—a deep, aching sadness that mirrors my own. This would be easier if I could hate him, but I can't. He's looking out for Blair, and I'm so glad she has someone who will—someone who is always on her side.

Finally, we pull up beside another car. Jerry, my social worker, steps out to meet us. Robert turns to me, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Ransom," he says, his voice rough. "Son, thank you. Thank you. I'm sorry. I wish—." His lips press together in a line, unable to continue. But I know what he wishes: that he didn't have to choose between us. That I wouldn't have to go back into the system.

I wish the same things, but there's no point in continuing to wish for something that's never going to happen, so I just nod, not trusting myself to speak. Robert pulls me into a fierce hug, and for a moment, I let myself cling to him, inhaling the familiar scent of his aftershave.

"I'm proud of you, son," he whispers. "And I love you. Don't you ever forget that."

A sob rips from her chest. Just one. Then she pulls it back, forcing herself under control. "He drove you right out of my life. Literally drove you." She moves to the tall oak tree and leans against it. I follow because I can't not follow her. She's always been it for me. Doesn't matter how much I tried to deny it or rationalize it; deep in my gut, I knew.

---