Page 126 of Filthy Dirty Dom

“I’ll be leaving New York after the wedding,” he said.

She didn’t react, keeping her gaze fixed on the inky darkness outside. A tight knot formed in his chest.

“But before I do,” he continued, forcing himself to push through the dread, “I’ll introduce you to a friend. A dom friend.”

Like she had before, he expected her to protest. To lash back at him with anger. He waited for her to turn those fiery eyes on him and accuse him of trying to control her again. But to his surprise, Leslie simply nodded.

"Sure," she replied, her voice devoid of any emotion. She didn’t even turn to look at him. "When it comes to that, at least, I trust your judgment, Alex." Her words hung in the air, heavy and final.

He spent the rest of the flight in agony, imagining not just leaving New York, but leaving Leslie in the arms of someone else.

Eventually, as the jet touched down on the tarmac, the bright lights of New York City painted the skyline in a mix of dazzling colors. When the attendant opened the door and the staircase was in place, Alex watched as Leslie unbuckled her seatbelt, her movements stiff and robotic. His throat felt dry as he watched her stand and walk towards the jet’s exit without a backward glance.

She didn't say goodbye. Alex sat in silence, the echo of her departure ringing loudly in his ears. A sense of profound loss overwhelmed him.

He was doing the right thing, he told himself.

He was protecting her.

Yet all he felt was defeat.

After Branden and Cara's wedding...

* * *

Leslie stood in her studio staring at a framed picture of Branden and Cara at their wedding. It had been a beautiful time in Scotland, full of tears and challenges, good times and bad, but mostly it had been full of love. Loyalty. Commitment. Friendship.

All words she had once associated with Alex.

That had been the hardest part for her. Watching Cara and Branden celebrate their love even as Leslie mourned the fact that she and Alex were over.

For good this time.

She traced her finger over the image of Cara's wedding dress. She had poured her heart and soul into it, finishing it just before the ceremony, and it had turned out beautiful. Yet looking at it was painful even now.

Every thread, every bead, every seam of the dress reminded her of Alex and the conversations they'd had about her insecurities, as well as the sketches she'd drawn in Caris and in Italy. The walls of her studio seemed to echo with his final words in Italy, each one leaving a gaping would on her heart. She felt detached from her own life, like an outsider watching her own story unfold without her.

Ever since their return to New York, with Branden and Cara away on their honeymoon, Leslie moved through the days on autopilot.

Putting the frame down, she turned to the mirror hanging nearby. The woman staring back at her barely recognizable. She was still Leslie, but a version that was incomplete without Alex.

But he’d been right in the end. Not for the reasons he’d ended things, but the fact he’d ended them in the first place. As strong and brave as Alex was, his past had stunted that bravery where his personal feelings were concerned. Despite what Leslie had hoped, Protector Alex would forever have a stranglehold on Selfish Alex, and that meant Alex could never be the man she needed. He would never put his feelings for her first, above even the guarantee of his or her own safety.

What was life if not a risk? The key was that two people who loved each other would face that risk together as they sucked the marrow out of the bones of life.

In the end, Alex wasn’t willing to walk that journey with her.

And that was what made his decision to break the bond they’d forged on Caris and in Italy the right thing for them both. “It’s for the best,” she murmured. But even as she repeated his words, they tasted bitter on her tongue.

Glanced at her clock. It was nearing eight in the evening, and she had somewhere to be. She moved mechanically, going upstairs and selecting her outfit for the evening: a skintight black leather dress that hugged her figure. It was a far cry from the more elegant dress she’d worn to the sex clubs the night she’d gone out with David and then Alex, but then again, she was different. Her heart was broken, so the black leather seemed fitting beyond how appropriate it would be at the sex club.

She applied her makeup with practiced ease, a veneer of confidence she hoped would mask her churning nerves. The final touch was a spritz of perfume, a scent she knew Alex liked. The familiar smell was a faint whisper of their shared past, another cruel reminder of what they had lost. As she did a final check in the mirror, she lifted her hand to her bare throat. She’d worn the sunshine pendant Alex had gifted her for two days before she’d finally taken it off. She’d sobbed when she’d tucked it inside a drawer, but she’d known she had to do it. She couldn’t carry Alex around with her everywhere she went, not if she wanted at least a chance of piecing her broken heart back together. The crystal moon sun catcher though…

Her eyes moved to where she’d placed it in the corner of her bedroom. For some reason, its presence didn’t torture her. Ironically, it filled her with calm whenever she looked at it, and that’s the only reason she kept it up.

Finally ready to head out, she arranged for an Uber. The ride was a silent one, the rhythmic pattern of the city's nightlife flashing past the cab's windows. She watched, disconnected, as couples strolled arm-in-arm, people laughed and the city pulsed with life. It was all so normal, so ordinary, and yet, it felt so foreign to her.

When the Uber driver finally came to a stop, Leslie's heart skipped a beat. The sight of the familiar building sent a cold shiver down her spine. She was here, standing in front of the very same sex club she had walked into with David. She’d specifically told Alex she didn’t want to meet his friend at the one where she’d masturbated in front of Alex, or when he’d first let loose the reins of his control enough to come on her breasts. A wave of nausea washed over her as memories flashed through her mind, a rapid-fire slideshow of shared looks, whispered words and the feel of Alex's hands on her body.

---