Page 13 of Nothing to Fear

“Yes, we’re doing the dinner thing, and you better dress up. No one says no to Alice Breckenridge.”

Few people would say no to any Breckenridge, she imagined.

“Might not be a good idea,” she said, “for me. For obvious reasons.”

Her boss took her elbow to lead her away from the others.

“Mrs. Breckenridge is already talking about joining and supporting other events. This could be a breakthrough, imagine how much we could raise and the higher the stakes…”

The more the charity would gain. That was the presumed answer, the socially acceptable one. Though she couldn’t help but assume Celeste’s motivation was snatching higher glory from Luxe Leathers.

Maybe that wasn’t fair.

Cynicism was difficult to shrug off.

“I don’t want to embarrass myself again.”

“You were getting along just fine at the sink.”

“The unexpected throws me off; I’m terrible with surprises. It helps when my energy stores are low and I’m focused on something else… and when I don’t have to look directly at him.”

“Then skip sleep tonight. There’s no way any of our team are missing this meal.”

It was a lock. Oh, goody. Sigh.

FOUR

“I THOUGHT ABOUT you today.”

He answered.

Agent 1908 answered when she called. While dialing she told herself it was just to leave a message. Other people needed help. The agent must have a family and commitments of his own.

“Good thoughts?” he asked.

“No, of how I embarrassed myself last night. I want to apologize. I have to apologize. Truly. I can’t believe that I—I don’t remember saying goodnight. I think I just fell asleep.”

“That’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I am not a child. You have other responsibilities. It’s no excuse, but I haven’t slept well this week. This month actually. It’s harder to get up, to be motivated—”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m here for whatever you need.”

Exhaling, her breath quivered. “I’m such a mess. I made an idiot of myself at the bake-off and upset my boss. Sometimes it’s like I’m not even in my own head.”

“After going through a trauma, some people report disassociation. Is it like that?”

“It’s not a conscious separation. What happened, it was… I was alone. And after, people were shocked, they were kind, but then…”

“It all got quiet,” he said. “Like it never happened at all.”

“People don’t know, do they?”

“Often unless they’ve been through a trauma of their own, they can’t identify. There are also those who bury their own trauma.”

“And hearing of another’s can ignite their own neuroses. I get that.”

“Was that what you wanted? To talk about it?”

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