Page 137 of Nothing to Fear

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, it got away from me. On the phone you… I don’t know what it was, I was connected to you, felt connected to you—”

“Ah!” She raised a hand. “I don’t want excuses.” And that was exactly what he was dealing. “I don’t want your words.”

“Actions,” he said. “You want me to act?”

Closing her eyes didn’t help her anxiety. “No!”

“What do you need me to do? Name it and it’s done.”

“I don’t want anything from you, nothing from you. I want you to leave me alone, that’s what I want.”

“Roch.”

His brother’s voice turned him. “We’re fine, Tripp.”

“You guys want to see this.”

Just as he retreated, a blast of sound captured them.

“Everyone ready to make some cash?” a woman hollered, a woman with a microphone.

They rounded to the Crimson station just as the huge black curtain fell and music blasted loud.

“Oh my God,” she said, glancing around at the exuberant faces fixated on— “That’s Kari-K.”

“No one we can’t reach,” Tripp said, extending an arm to offer her a hand. “You’re on the Crimson team. Quit harassing our team, Roch, go back to your own.”

He didn’t interpret, game play, or meddle… but Tripp was still his mother’s son. Though Darroch’s jaw didn’t appreciate his brother refereeing, she did.

Taking Tripp’s hand, she rounded Darroch to let herself be led to the others admiring Kari-K blasting out one of her classic tracks.

“How did we get—how do we know Kari-K?”

Tripp looped an arm around her to prop himself against her. “There’s no one we can’t get.”

“Isn’t this costing a fortune?”

“Everything you see is from Crimson, or it’s been donated, including time.” He kissed the top of her head. The first stream of cars appeared. “Time to get to work.”

FORTY-SIX

FOR A MINUTE there, she couldn’t break free. Powerful as Roxie was, it wasn’t coercion. No, somewhere mid-evening at the car wash, she’d admitted the truth to herself. Being part of Crimson, Roxie’s entourage, surrounded by safety, she didn’t have to think about real life, about her real troubles. The escape might be available, but taking it, keeping it too long, she’d risk losing her confidence. More of her confidence.

Roxie invited her back to Crimson Palace, but she declined. The woman said she wasn’t done with the persuading, which was her cue to sneak away. Darroch was somewhere in the building and things were winding down…

Although it felt like an age since she’d been in her own place, getting there was welcome. She stripped off, got in the shower, and made plans.

A job, that’s what she needed. To stop relying on others to bail her out. She couldn’t lean on Roxie, couldn’t lean on the Breckenridges. The city was expensive. Too expensive for her limited savings. If she didn’t get a job soon—Huddle Hope was an option. Tripp proved he wouldn’t pressure her, in fact, he’d saved her from his brother, a couple of times.

Was that leaning? How long would it take her to get over Darroch? No, she was over him, how long would it take him to get over her? Except that was stupid. He couldn’t be into her, not really, so why was he still trying to talk to her?

Wine. Yes. She turned off the shower, stepped out to wrap a towel around her and went into the kitchen for—the fridge was open. Wide open.

Pausing, she glanced around. Had she been so out of it that she hadn’t noticed that on coming in? Damnit. Just when she couldn’t afford extra utilities, she went and blasted the shit out of the electricity. Maybe she could offer her services as a screw up. Surely someone would get a laugh out of her wrecking everything good in her life.

Snatching the wine, the cold glass slipped a little in her hand, but she caught it. No damn way she’d lose the only friend she needed that night. Grabbing the corkscrew, she didn’t bother with a glass. No, this was a straight from the bottle night.

The wine got her attention before the blow-dryer, during the blow-dry, and after. Shit, if she kept going this way, she’d pass out. Food. That would be smart. Something to soak up the alcohol.

---