Page 144 of Nothing to Fear

“For this,” she said. “You’re here in this mess because of me.”

“I’m here in this mess because of a maniac stalker. I completely understand how he could be obsessed with you; I’m obsessed with you. But if I ever scared you—”

“Don’t compare yourself to him.”

Though in some ways they were alike, not necessarily the scaring thing, Darroch had occupied two roles in her life. Been two people to her one. No, she couldn’t think that way. She couldn’t obsess about what was because it never would be. The hurt didn’t matter anymore. As soon as this mess was over, she’d apologize again and let the Breckenridges go on their way.

“None of this is your fault,” he said, venturing closer while she stayed near the door. “Che—”

“Please, just let me say this, your family are kind and generous and do what they can to make this a better, brighter world. You should be proud of them. You are proud of them. I know you are. And what happened with us, yes, I… I did get caught up in it and let things go further than they should have. It was flattering to have the attention of a guy like you, someone I’d never normally cross paths with. And I don’t just mean the money, it’s who you are and the way you carry yourself in the world, you’re a catch.” He was smart enough that his eyes narrowed with suspicion. “For someone else. For someone who isn’t me.”

“I apologize,” he said, “and I’ll keep apologizing.”

“No, that’s why I’m saying this now. This is it, the period at the end, at the end of the whole episode. I don’t know how long this will take to get cleared up—and I’m glad that we’re sharing space, I want to know that you’re safe, and it is easier for Roxie’s people and your brothers… It’s easier for everyone protecting usto have one site rather than two.” Divide and conquer was how these people succeeded in the wild. Could she really compare this to that? “You have your room and I have mine, and we can be polite. There’s no need for things to be awkward, and there’s no need for us to rehash everything over and over again. Let’s just let this be what it is. And when it’s over, we say goodbye.”

“I don’t accept that.” Though his good humor was gone, he didn’t push. “But the point of this isn’t to figure us out. You’re right about that, so I’ll play things your way. I’ll do whatever you need me to do to make this easier, because there’s no way I want you uncomfortable or thinking about leaving this safety. You’re the boss. If you want to keep your distance, I won’t make it difficult for you, but I’m here. I’ll be here every minute for whatever you need.”

And after?

She didn’t ask the question out loud because they’d only end up going in circles. Being over was easier when they were apart. No, it had never been easy.

There, at least, she knew he was okay and didn’t have to wonder what he was doing, if he was thinking of her… spending time with other women.

Which was his right. She closed her eyes. He could date whoever he wanted, kiss whoever he wanted… make love with whoever he wanted.

“Okay?” she asked, sidestepping to skirt between the living room and the office. “I’m going to get settled in.”

FORTY-NINE

GETTING SETTLED IN was an excuse. She thought organizing her space would give her a chance to get her head straight, not just about Darroch, but about the whole mess. Except when she got into her room, the closet was full. There were things from her apartment, things she didn’t recognize, things from Darroch’s closet at Breckenridge House.

Her toiletries were on the vanity or in the shower. There was even a charging dock on her night table and a landline phone next to it, the link Astrid referenced that connected her with everything she could possibly want. A palace of pleasure.

Rather than walk out of the closet and return to Darroch to admit she actually had nothing to do, she curled up in the chair next to the bathroom and downloaded some fiction to get her through the day.

The windows were tempting and the view beyond beautiful, but she didn’t think it was smart for someone possibly being watched by a nefarious stalker to showcase herself and pinpoint to him exactly where she was. Maybe she should highlight that to Darroch too… except she didn’t want to go out there again.

At some point after the sky was dark in Empire City, voices carried from the other room. No big deal. Darroch was allowed visitors and had plenty of contacts, it was no surprise he’d be sociable.

Another voice joined. A feminine laugh raised her head. Would he…?

A second later, the door burst open. Roxie swung herself inside, still holding the handle, anchoring herself with a grasp on the static door.

“It’s dinnertime!”

“It’s—”

Roxie had already disappeared. She put her phone aside; she hadn’t thought about eating and couldn’t claim to be particularly hungry.

“They can come upstairs for Christmas,” Roxie’s voice floated above the others.

She crept toward the door.

The room was alive with people up, moving, being joyous. Uniformed people set the table and laid out food from lines and lines of carts. Roxie was there with her fiancé and Tripp, Darroch, both Breckenridge parents, other Breckenridge boys.

“What do you think?” Roxie asked, popping something into Zairn’s mouth. “Savvy?”

“Think about what?” she asked.

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