Page 26 of Nothing to Fear

“We found it, eventually, it was raining, freezing cold, but I stood in my rapture watching him leave his mark on the wall that once meant something to someone.”

“That’s true. It may have been abandoned, but someone must’ve called it home at some time.”

“He used to let me put an X under his mark, like my love underlined his genius.”

“That’s nice.”

She snickered. “Nice I was a co-defendant in his crime.”

“You got caught?”

“No, if only. On my knees doing this X, he wouldn’t let me get back up, not until I… Let’s just say, he got his happy ending.”

“You didn’t want to?”

“I’d never done it before. It’s nothing like you think, but… he was so adamant. We were out in the middle of nowhere, if I hadn’t opened my mouth for him, we’d probably still be there.”

One way or another.

“Did you tell your mother?”

“God, no,” she said, that was funny. “She didn’t even notice I was gone. Her and her boyfriend were having their own fun when I got back.”

“Did you see him again?”

“I went out with him for another three months,” she said. “And every time there was an X…”

“There was a happy ending?” he asked. “That’s a difficult thing for anyone to go through, especially someone so young.”

“But that’s the thing. It wasn’t a big deal, I got over it.”

“Did you?”

Did she? Life was a series of experiences tacked onto each other. Once the train started moving, there was no slowing down, no stopping, no getting off. People had to get on with it, couldn’t dawdle over processing and interpreting emotions on every little thing.

“Teenage boys like sex. All men I’ve met do.” The lingering silence got her checking the line was still active. “Hello?”

“It’s interesting that you put it that way.”

“Put it what way?”

“Men like sex. Implies women don’t. You don’t.”

“I like sex.”

“That was a kneejerk response. Instinct. Maybe you tell yourself that or you’ve said it to others…”

She sighed. “I like the idea of sex. The intimacy, and I love climaxing, who doesn’t. It just so happens that…”

“That?”

“The climaxing thing only happens when I’m alone. Most of my sexual experiences are… not like the movies.”

“Hollywood movies or the one-handed scroll at three a.m. kind?”

Her expression warmed. “You know, you have an amazing way. You’re good at this.”

“Thank you.”

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