Page 49 of Nothing to Fear

She smiled at the ceiling. “You’re safe. That’s what you said. That’s why I feel connected to you.”

“It’s a common response.”

“Like transference,” she said. “Florence Nightingale Syndrome.”

“You label everything to marginalize the truth of your relationships. This one is safe.”

“I put my faith in this so I don’t have to connect with anybody in the real world. If I get my emotional support from you, why do I need to look? Why do I need to be with anyone?”

“You don’t,” he said. “Some people make that choice for themselves.”

“And it’s valid?” she asked on a laugh.

That seemed to be one of the buzz words.

His tone acknowledged her joke. “It is.”

“I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be in the wrong relationship. And I obviously suck at it, picking the right man.”

“Almost no one gets it right the first time.”

Alice Breckenridge had with her husband. Roxie? She didn’t know how many serious relationships the woman had before Zairn, but she’d found it too. How had she known? How did anyone know when someone was The One? Had she just never found it or was she not capable of loving like that? Maybe she wasn’t designed to be loved like that.

“Do I need to break away? Stop using this crutch?” She closed her eyes. “I shouldn’t think about you the way I think about you.”

“Like you said, this is safe.”

Wouldn’t she turn into her own version of a crazy assaulter if she truly fell for him? Ridiculous! It wasn’t possible to fall for someone she’d never met, not when he wasn’t sharing his life too.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “For the things I’ve said, for the number of times I’ve called.”

“I told you I want you to call.”

“Your girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate it. I don’t know how to get my head straight.”

“Maybe you do need to find someone in your life. To rely on. To trust. Is there anyone you’re interested in building a deeper relationship with?”

“Not someone who’d want me. For a second I thought maybe but…”

“But…?”

“He’s too together. If he had the first clue how screwed up I am, he’d run.” On a swallow, she let the truth in. “He could never be happy with someone like me… and I think he knows that.”

“Trust him,” he said. “Fate put him in your path, didn’t she?”

“Fate’s proved she doesn’t mind being cruel. What if I like him—if I fall for him and…?”

“It works out? You live happily ever after?”

“You’re not that naïve.”

He laughed. “Happy doesn’t have to mean incident free or constant bliss. Choosing to be with a person is about a partnership, it’s agreeing to confront whatever either of you endure together.”

Together. She had to admit that sounded good. Imagine having someone to shoulder life’s trials with. Alice and Benedict did it. Roxie and Zairn. Yvette and Iain.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?”

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