Page 6 of Nothing to Fear

“No, I… something happened to me, kind of recently, it’s brought back old memories, I guess.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s pathetic, I’m pathetic. I shouldn’t feel like this over one stupid incident. Why can’t I just get over it? Forget about it?”

“Trauma impacts individuals in different ways. Some people become jaded. Some shut themselves off. Some seek solace in the familiar… or the bottle. Your experience is valid. You are allowed to feel what you feel.”

Was that what she needed? Permission?

“It’s not on you to fix me though, is it?”

“I can’t fix you, but I can listen. I can advise. I can offer my opinion and guidance.”

“That’s what my boss said, that Lighting Darkness offers exercises for users to follow. That’s what I need. I need you to tellme what to do, what steps to take, one by one, because if I look at the big picture, I’ll hyperventilate.”

He laughed again though it wasn’t actually a joke. “What are you doing this weekend?”

“My supervisor is on a personal mission, competing with her nemesis. Has been for a while. The rest of us try to keep her on the tracks. We’re taking part in a bake-off event in the park.”

“Like the TV show?”

“Not exactly. It’s for charity. Volunteers bake, whatever they can. Then we sell what we bake. There are stalls and booths, proceeds go to charity.”

“That’s a worthy cause.”

“We put a team together at work. People can wander through the tent and watch, there are donation bins all around.”

“Will that distract you from what you’re feeling?”

Would it? Could anything?

TWO

SHE’D PRESSED ONE.

After being up most of the night with Lighting Darkness, she’d drifted off. The jarring automated voice had woken her with its insistence. “If you would like to connect with Agent 1908 in future, please press one.”Yes, the voice had broken her slumber, but the sun was over the horizon by then.

Agent 1908.

He’d been in her head all through her gym workout. Since then and all the way to the bake-off. Had he stayed on the phone even after she was asleep? He couldn’t have, surely. How embarrassing. What gave her the right? Other clients would’ve needed his attention. He must’ve disconnected at some point to return her to the automated voice.

“Ow, fuck!”

Tossing down the baking sheet, she stretched her stinging finger, already streaked with red from earlier burns.

“What is with you today?” Yvette came over to rescue the sheet from its spot teetering on the edge of the counter. “Remember, Savanna, sweetie, this is supposed to be fun.”

“Yeah, well, this is my version of fun. Wait a while, I’ll end up in the ER. What a hoot that’ll be.”

“Let me see.”

“It’s fine,” she said, but let Yvette pull her over to the sink to run cold water on it.

Celeste, her poised supervisor, was already popping cookies from the sheet onto the cooling rack.

“You’re doing better than Nessa,” Yvette said, increasing the pressure until the water spat up and out in tiny jetsdampening her apron. “She’s her own kind of special. At least you’re producing something.”

“Blood and burns, clever me, neither would get me past the health department. Thank God this is for charity.”

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