Page 120 of Fake Out Hearts

Jake giggles again. “You’re very pretty, Aunt Becca,” he says, and she beams at him.

“Thank you, Jake. You’re very sweet to say so.”

“You’re welcome. I hope Daddy finds a girl as pretty as you so he can marry her.”

“I’m sure he will someday. Your dad is quite handsome himself. It must be where you get it from,” Becca tells Jake, and he blushes before taking another huge bite of macaroni.

“But really, Uncle Theo, how did you know?” Jake asks again when he’s finished chewing.

“I’m not really sure, buddy. But Becca was beautiful and sweet and everything I’d been hoping to find, and I felt like I wanted her in my life forever. That’s how I knew,” I answer truthfully.

Now it’s Becca’s turn to blush. Her eyes linger on mine, and I’d give anything to know exactly what she’s thinking right now.

I don’t mind Jake asking these questions—I’m sure he’s just curious because he’s figured out his dad went out on a date tonight—but I do feel like we’re dancing on a knife’s edge with the truth here. I can’t tell the kid my marriage to Becca is fake, and I wouldn’t even if he asked. But I can’t help thinking about the shit Reese and Noah were giving me earlier, either.

Because as I stand here babysitting with Becca, our “fake” marriage feels more real than ever. And I wonder if she feels it too.

“Did you have to wait a long time to find her?” Jake asks, piercing the moment as he looks back and forth between us.

“A few years, yeah. But it was worth the wait.”

Jake sighs and drops his fork on the plate. “I hope Daddy won’t have to wait that long. I think he’s been sad since Mommy left.”

Becca reaches across the table to rest her hand on Jake’s. She smiles at him. “It’s okay to be sad when something like that happens. It’s a big change.”

Jake scrunches up his face. “Yeah, I guess so. We don’t see her very much anymore.”

That twists my heart. When Sawyer got divorced, his ex-wife didn’t even want custody of Jake, and although I know my teammate tried to shield his son from the truth of how disinterested his mother is in parenting, there’s only so much he can do.

Becca shoots a glance my way before squeezing Jake’s little hand. She knows a bit about Sawyer’s situation from conversations we’ve had, and sympathy flashes in her eyes as she looks back at Jake.

“Well, one thing I know for sure is that your dad loves you very much,” she promises. “You’re all he thinks and talks about, even more than hockey. Right, Theo?”

“Oh, one hundred percent. He’s your number one fan, kiddo.”

That brings a smile back to Jake’s face, and he picks up his fork to shovel in another mouthful of macaroni. But before he’s finished chewing, he’s asking more questions.

“Do you think you and Uncle Theo will ever get a divorce?” he asks Becca, and I watch her face as she works through her answer mentally.

“I honestly don’t know. No one really does. But I hope with all my heart it never happens,” she finally says, and I nod my approval.

“Me neither,” Jake says as he continues chewing. “I like you two.”

“Aw.” Becca smiles broadly, her eyes warming. “We like you too.”

I finish heating up the veggies and chicken for Becca and me, then bring a plate to her. Jake really must’ve been hungry, because he finishes his macaroni long before we finish ours.

“Can I go watch TV?” he asks when he’s done, even though he’s already shoving back from the table.

“That’s fine. We’ll be there in a minute. Maybe we can find a movie to watch together or something,” Becca says.

“Okay! I’ll pick something out,” Jake says and runs back into the living room. While Becca and I are alone, we stare at each other with unspoken feelings and thoughts coursing between us. There’s so much I want to say, but I can’t find the words, and now isn’t the right time anyway.

Leave it to an innocent little kid’s questions to stir all of this up.

I join Becca at the table to finish eating in silence, then clean up the dishes while she joins Jake on the couch. I hear them talking about different movies, and when I come back to the living room, I find Becca with one arm around Jake and his headresting against her. For a second, it almost feels real. Like this is our family, our son.

I shouldn’t be thinking like this.

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