Page 133 of Fake Out Hearts

Theo’s expression falls, and he looks stunned. “Just what? What’s wrong?”

I stare into his eyes, and with the way mine are burning I know I’m on the verge of tears. I don’t want to say this. God, I don’t. It’s going to ruin him, ruin everything we’ve created together, but I have to do it. I’ve dodged and danced around the truth for months now, but I can’t do it forever. I owe it to him to be honest.

Tears stream down my face as I lose control, and Theo looks totally confused as he takes both of my hands in his. “Shit, Becca, talk to me. What’s going on? Are you okay? You’re scaring me.”

“I can’t have this future with you, Theo,” I finally blurt through the strain in my throat. “It’s not possible.”

“What are you talking about? Why not?” he asks, and the last of my resolve breaks.

I’m full on crying now, and my face is flaming with shame so I bury it in my hands because I can’t bear to look at him. To say the rest of it. Theo tries to pull me into him, to hold me, but I resist because I know if I give in now, I’ll never find the courage to tell him.

“I can’t have kids,” I choke out through my fingers. “I know you want that, and I know it’s part of what broke you and Valerie up. She told me.”

Theo stares at me in shock, his mouth hanging open, and it only makes me feel worse the longer he stares at me. It feels like my heart breaks a thousand times over in this awful silence between us while he searches for words. Finally, he finds them.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” he asks quietly.

“I’m sorry, I know I should have, and I feel terrible that I didn’t, but it didn’t seem to matter when we were only ever supposed to be in a fake marriage,” I rush. “But then all of a sudden, it started to feel like more, but I still couldn’t tell you.”

“Why? You could’ve told me anything, you know that.”

I look away because I can’t stand the pain playing out on his face. Or the shame of admitting what I’m about to say. “I madethat mistake before. I told Shawn, and he never let me live it down. He made me feel like shit about it, over and over again, every fucking chance he got. He made me feel like I wasn’t a full woman, that I would never be enough for him or any man because I couldn’t give him kids.”

Theo just stares at me like he can’t find words, which only makes me feel worse.

“I should have told you. I know I should have. But I was falling for you, and I wanted to have this little sliver of happiness, even if I knew it had to end,” I whisper to fill the silence and to keep myself from completely falling apart. I can’t stop myself. The words just keep pouring out of me.

“I’m sorry for hiding it from you. I never meant for it to be like this. But I can’t stay married to you. Maybe it’s better if we just end everything now rather than dragging it out for years. It will only hurt more then.”

Still, Theo doesn’t speak through the look of anguished confusion on his face. I hurt him, and I hate myself for it. And now all my fears are coming true all at once. He wants a family I’ll never be able to give him, and he won’t want me ever again after all of this.

“Say something, please,” I whisper, but Theo just stares at me, his expression unreadable.

My heart splinters into a million jagged pieces, because I know what that look means.

It’s over. I ruined this. Ruinedus.

“I’m going to stay with Reese and Callie for a few days until we can get the divorce finalized,” I say, shoving down the sob that’s welling in the back of my throat. “You can have Eric draw up the papers.”

My chest feels so tight that it’s hard to breathe, and I turn away from him before I lose my resolve.

Tears blur my vision as I hurry back to the car to haul my bag out of the trunk, then hurry down the street with my phone in my trembling hand to call for an Uber.

Chapter 43

Theo

I drive back home in a numb, detached haze. One second, I’m standing on the curb outside the house I wanted to buy for Becca and me, and the next thing I know, I’m in the living room of the condo with Milo jumping all over me.

But even that barely registers. I pet his head absently, but I don’t feel it. I don’t feel anything at all, not even the searing pain that’s bubbling beneath the surface. I don’t let myself get close enough to that fire because I know it’ll consume me if I let it. And I’m afraid.

More than anything, I’m hurt. I can’t believe Becca kept something like that from me, no more than I can believe that she just walked away from me. Walked away from everything I thought we had. It all just fell apart in an instant.

I sink down on the couch with my phone in hand. I should call Reese to make sure Becca got there safe and that she’s okay, but part of me doesn’t want to make the call. Because hearing she’s there will make all of this real in a way that I’m not sure I can handle right now.

None of this was supposed to happen. Today should’ve been one of the best days of our lives, but instead it’s one of the worst.

I tap Reese’s name in my contacts to call before I fall to pieces. He answers in the middle of the second ring.

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