Page 137 of Fake Out Hearts

“It’s my mom. Can you give me a minute?” I ask Callie as I wipe my tears with the back of my free hand.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll check on you in a bit,” she answers and closes the door quietly while I answer the phone.

“Hi, Mom,” I say, trying my best to sound like my usual bright, cheery self.

“Hi, Twinkle Toes,” she greets me, and a genuine smile comes to my face. “Just wanted to call and check in on how you’re doing. Haven’t talked in a while.”

“Everything’s going well here,” I lie, but true to her pattern, she doesn’t seem to notice.

“Glad to hear. I’ve been having man troubles myself,” she says with a laugh. Apparently, she’s more interested in talking about herself than hearing what’s going on with me—not that that’s a surprise. “This guy, I swear. He’s so hot and cold. Oneminute he can’t get enough of me, the next he can’t get far enough way.”

“How long have you been seeing this one?” I ask, shifting the phone against my ear.

“Just a few weeks now. We met at the bar during karaoke one night, shared way too many drinks, and he ended up driving me home.”

How romantic. Somehow, I manage to keep that thought to myself.

“That first night, Becca… it was magic. Like real magic. I haven’t felt this way about a guy in a long time,” she gushes, as if she hasn’t said those exact words a million times before. “But ever since then, he’s been flakier than a bowl of Frosted Flakes. But anyway, you don’t want to hear more about my Jerry Springer life. How’s your husband?”

I almost drop the phone in surprise. Not because she remembered I’m married—for now, at least—but because she bothered to ask.

“Did I ever tell you Theo called me the night you were in the hospital?” she asks when I don’t reply because I don’t have the faintest clue how to answer that question. “He wanted to know what your favorite foods were, all the stuff I used to make for you when you weren’t feeling well.”

My heart swells that Theo would do that, then bursts at the thought of how I hurt him, and I can’t stop myself from dissolving again. I don’t want to cry to my mom, don’t want her to know what’s really going on, but I can’t contain the heartache.

“Oh my god, what’s wrong? Did he hurt you?” she asks protectively.

“No. Nothing like that. But things are over between us.”

“What?! What happened?”

“I don’t even know where to start,” I say, my voice shaky.

“Tell me everything. Start at the beginning.” So that’s exactly what I do. I confess to everything in a gush—the toxic relationship and public break up with Shawn, Theo offering to marry me for a green card—everything.

“It started off as just an arrangement, a convenience thing, but it turned real. I fell for him, Mom, and then I broke his heart because I can’t give him the thing he wants the most. It could never work.”

When I finally finish, Mom sighs. “I’m so sorry, Becca. And I mean that. I never met him, but he seemed like a great guy, and I never would’ve known things didn’t start off real with you two. But speaking of being real…” She trails off, and my heart skips a beat. “Don’t be like me. Don’t be a runner.”

I don’t know what to say. She’s never been this honest with me, or even showed that she cared enough to try. I sit there speechless, gripping the phone like I’m in some sort of dream and waiting to wake up from it.

“That’s what I’ve done my whole life, but you know that. You were there too. Whenever the going gets tough or the feelings get a little too real, I bolt. But do you want to know why?”

I have a feeling I know where she’s going with this, but I indulge her anyway. “Why?”

“Your father,” she says, and my heart lurches. “He bailed and disappeared on me, and when that happened, I promised myself I’d never let it happen again. I’d never let a man make me hurt the way he did ever again. So I turned into the person who runs. It’s so much easier to be the one doing the abandoning than it is to get left.”

This is probably the most honest she’s ever been with me, about anything. I still don’t know what to say, but she’s not finished, so I brace myself.

“But you know what the funny thing is about running? Once you start, it’s next to impossible to stop. So don’t you run fromTheo. Don’t you dare. You were always stronger than me, and way more responsible. And you have such a big, tender heart. I know it’s hurting right now, baby, but that’s because you’re trying to do what I taught you and your heart knows better. You were never supposed to end up on the same path as me.”

My chest clenches and my entire body aches. My mom hasnevergiven me this kind of loving, motherly advice before. And even if she’d tried before, I wouldn’t have listened because I would’ve sworn she didn’t have a clue what she was talking about, given her abysmal track record with men.

So this hits particularly hard because Mom has a point—a good one. I’ve always hated the cycle of starting over that my mom subjected me to repeatedly as a kid, so am I really about to do it to myself right now? Am I really going to walk away from the best thing that’s ever happened to me, the only man who’s truly loved me, just because I can’t give him kids?

“Are you still there?” Mom asks gently, and I nod even though she can’t see me.

“Yeah. Just taking it all in.”

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