Page 48 of Fake Out Hearts

I don’t even know what the point of practicing these starts is anymore. We’ve all done it thousands of times by now, but Dunaway is convinced that it was the weakest part of our game against the Cobras last week, so it’s apparently his new crusade.

When I square up in front of Noah again, both he and Dunaway are watching me. I don’t want either of them on my case right now, and I don’t want to give them any more reasons to think I’m losing my edge, so I keep my eyes locked on the puck. As soon as the drill starts, I’m on it, slapping the other guys’ sticks away and barreling down the ice.

Probably because of how checked out I’ve been today, none of them saw me coming, so I get a huge head start. And I can tell from the grimace on Grant’s face as he tenses up to block my shot that he knows I’m about to give it all I’ve got.

He’s right.

I pull back and swing so hard it hurts, but Grant doesn’t even bother trying to block the shot. It would probably take his arm off if he did. Instead, the puck rockets into the net, which barely holds it, so I spin around and hold my stick high.

“That better?” I shout to Noah and Dunaway. They exchange looks, and Noah rips off his helmet, then spits out his mouth guard.

“It’s a start,” he says, and I roll my eyes. Now he’s just trying to piss me off, and it’s working.

“Alright, I think that’s enough for today,” Dunaway declares as I’m skating toward Noah. “Let’s not overdo it. We’ve got plenty of time to drill before our next game. Glad to see you’ve still got some fight left in you, Camden,” he says and claps me on the back when I stop near him.

I follow the rest of the guys off the ice and into the locker room. I didn’t play the worst I could’ve today, and Dunaway’s comment should probably make me feel better, but the shot I just made feels more like a bandage on a broken arm. One little scrap of praise in practice damn sure doesn’t feel like a permanent step in the right direction.

Still, I’ll take my wins when and where I can get them.

Everyone showers up, and while I’m getting dressed, Noah strolls over to me. “Good work today,” he says, and I have to do a double take because I’m not sure I heard him right.

“What?”

Noah laughs. “You heard me. I mean, it wasn’t all great, but that steal and shot you made at the end there made me think maybe you really haven’t lost your touch.”

“So much for a compliment.”

“Hey, itisa compliment. But maybe that’s the key to getting your groove back. We’ll just have to piss you off before every game. Or maybe we can convince the arena crew to broadcast a picture of Kaplan on all the screens. That should do it.”

“Very funny.” But honestly, as much as I don’t want to admit it, it would probably work. Nothing pisses me off more than the sight of that fucker, especially these days.

“I get it. You’ve got a lot on your plate right now. Which reminds me: how are things with Becca going since she moved in?”

I’m not surprised he’s asking, but I am kind of surprised that he seems genuinely curious. “Things are going really well, honestly.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. She’s really sweet, and we get along great. It’s actually way easier to be married to her than I thought it would be. Not that I thought it would be a problem, but…” I trail off, and Noah picks right up on it like a bloodhound.

“But what?”

I don’t really want to have this conversation right now, but I know my friend means well, and he’s one of the few people I could ever share this with anyway. He’s still staring at me, waiting for an answer, so I sigh.

“It’s just hard to have her in my house, in my living space, with her stuff and her scent everywhere. I swear I’ll never get the scent of lavender and vanilla out of my nostrils, and it’s addictive as hell. I’m so fucking attracted to her. I guess… I guess I didn’t expect it to be this hard.”

Noah flashes me a sympathetic smile. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I warned you about that. This whole thing is complicated as hell. You can’t really date someone else or anything, and Becca is firmly off limits, so you’re in for a long two years of this kind of frustration.”

My stomach tightens at the thought of even dating someone else, and that catches me off-guard. Sure, I’m pretty much always turned on with Becca in the house these days, but that doesn’t mean I want to just fuck some other woman to take the edge off.

I only wantonewoman.

But I can’t have her.

And I know that, and that this is what I signed up for. But that doesn’t make it any easier.

Noah claps me on the shoulder. “Sorry, man. I don’t envy the blue balls you’re gonna have, but you’ve got this. I have faith in you. What you did for Becca was a really decent thing to do, even if I gave you a bit of shit for it in the beginning.”

That wasn’t what I expected from him, but I’ll take it. “Yeah, you’re right. It’ll be fine. It has to be.”

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