Page 41 of Lily and the Duke

“The evidence of the tears she had cried would seem to imply otherwise,” Hellsmere disagreed. “And I was asking what reason she gave you for ending your relationship.”

“She said it was because she found it too hurtful to continue.” He shook his head. “The last thing I would ever wish to do is hurt Lily.” Merely thinking of her tears that night made his chest ache.

“Hurtful in what way?” Hellsmere persisted.

“I believe she said she was incapable of turning her emotions on and off at will, as seems to be a requirement in a casual arrangement such as ours. That she found the constant uncertainty and inner questioning too exhausting.”

“Uncertainty over what? And questions regarding what?”

“Whether or not she wished to be with me, I assumed.”

“But you did not ask?”

“I did not have time to do so before you arrived.” Gabriel frowned. “After we had all spoken in the summer house, and you had departed—”

“I believe you instructed me to get out,” his friend reminded dryly.

“So I did,” Gabriel acknowledged without apology. “After you left, she told me she was worth more than a few snatched minutes of any gentleman’s time.”

“She is.”

“I know that!”

“Then do something about it.”

“I attempted to offer her more. She said it would not be enough.”

Hellsmere eyed him pityingly. “Exactly what more were you offering her?”

Gabriel’s jaw tensed. “I believed that was something that could only be decided between Lily and me.”

“Then it is time for you to return to the lady and the subject,” Hellsmere advised. “But only if you have true feelings for her and really do have more to offer her than that shoddy arrangement which obviously caused her so much unhappiness,” he cautioned.

The last time the two of them had spoken, Lily had been clear it was her wish not to continue with their intimacy.

Gabriel had not agreed with that decision.

He still did not.

“If you should need one, then you have a perfectly valid reason for calling upon her now that her suspicions regarding Shefford’s secretary have proved to be correct, and she specifically asked you to inform her of our progress,” Hellsmere pointed out. “I will go to Prinny and tell him we no longer need to continue with his investigation, and you should go to Lily and tell her exactly how you feel about her.”

“And if she does not feel the same way about me?”

“Then you will have to suffer that hurt on top of the humiliation of having confessed your unrequited feelings for her.”

“Your compassion is overwhelming!”

The other man grinned. “No one said falling in love was easy, my friend.”

No, they hadn’t.

Much as Gabriel had wished to see Lily this past week, he had instead deliberately kept himself busy with his work for the Crown and his other business concerns in an effort not to think of her at all. He had failed, of course, but being constantly occupied had helped.

Chloe’s birthday had also come and gone. It had necessarily been a muted affair, with one of her closest friends in mourning and another attending her.

But Gabriel had done the best he could for Chloe, in the circumstances, by presenting her with a new mare, her real present. The two of them had enjoyed a quiet dinner at home together rather than the evening out with her friends he had anticipated happening.

Now that the search for the spy was over, Gabriel knew he still needed to complete his unfinished conversation with Lily.

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