Page 80 of Citrine

Then I remember my own impulse to show it to her and wonder if her carelessness is infecting me.

"Don't you think it's fun, Wroahk?"

I consider it. There is nothing that can threaten me in these waters. It's not very amusing to hunt something that can't move very fast or just tastes plain disgusting. I don't think it's fun, but she seems to be set on her perspectives, so I decide not to answer.

"You don't think it's fun, do you?"

I don't think I'll ever understand this creature. So fickle, so annoying… yet, it feels so good and warm inside her. And I can't deny that she has made me think. Made me curious to know more things.

It makes my head ache, but I can't deny I like the challenge. It's like a hunt for a completely new type of prey.

Like how I have had to learn new ways to hunt her.Gentle, kind, careful, ways.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

I feel the urge to enter her again, but I fear her body might be injured. I noticed her flinch back near that rock, which means there's something wrong with her that she's not telling me.

I can't simply guess what's wrong with her other than the fact that her mouth is like a never-ending stream. I assume she will tell me, but for now I will keep my touchcareful.

"Man, it feels lonely with just us two here. Maybe that's why we did it."

Did what, I wonder? She keeps talking and I don't ask.

"If there were other people here, I wouldn't feel so lonely. It's not quiet, but it is at the same time. The water stretches out so far and there's a cove with resources. We can start a littlecommunitywith our ownrules.Like aspace exploration moviewhere they buildcolonieson adifferent planet.I don't have thetechnologyfor it, I guess, but there has to be some trace of what brought me here."

For me, there's more than enough living beings around us. For her, it doesn't seem to be enough. How many will she need to not hurt?

My skin twitches with an unpleasant sensation thinking of having more people around like her.

Never.

She wants to talk to someone, and she wants that person to talk back to her. I still don't agree with the advantage of having more people around us.

She thinks we have enough resources to feed someone else? When all her species eats is plants? Ridiculous.

"You don't seem to like the idea of someone else being here. I bet a predator like you doesn't like the idea ofdistributionof resources. You don't want it, but the fact is you're asocialanimal. You already proved it bysparingme. Plus, I drive you mad with my incessant talking. Imagine if you had someone else here that didn't talk as much as I did? You'll be getting social benefits as well as having someone else to gatherresources."

"No."

"Communityis important, Wroahk. We need to go out there and find out if there are others. What about the rest of your kind? You say the water is disgusting, so I already know this isn't your domain. You have language and you have customs, even though you don't teach your young. You strive for survival and victory. This is my only proof that you are asocialspecies. You need interaction or you'll die."

"I will not die."

She is wrong. I don't need others. I don't need her. I don't want to share with others. I don't want to share her with others. She's weak, and she needs others. I do not.

"You believe you won't. But I believe you will. One day, you'll get tired of meyappingoff yourear. You'll want time away from me. Who will you be with then?"

No, I would not miss her incessant droning, but the idea of her not being with me is unacceptable. I need to stop her from saying such uncomfortable things.

I pull her closer andkissher, hoping to silence her. She doesn't resist, kissing me back. It's silent now and my desire is rising. I pull back, remembering she was hurt.

Her face looks like she just ended a successful hunt. "You find me tedious, but you know I'm right."

She is tedious. I put her back on shore as my instincts to hunt and kill something arises before my frustrations overcome my control. She watches me as I plunge into the depths, leaving me with parting words.

"Don't get lost out there."

It isn't possible to get lost, so I don't understand the meaning behind her words. I know the water better than her, just as I know myself better than she does.

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