Page 93 of Citrine

I look at her tentacles, her fins and her gills and wonder if I would fight as much for my survival if I were to change like her.

I thought she was stealing from me, and I hated her for it.

If it was intentional, I don't think she would be this scared. She looks like she's genuinely suffering, even though she has no pain in her body physically.

Not when she is under the water, at least.

I have never held something so tightly in my tentacles as I do right now without the goal of killing it. All the things I've crushedand all the things I've destroyed, all of them do not feel as heavy a burden as what I grip right now.

She feels like a weight that extends far beyond her slight form.

All this creature does is talk and talk. The very sound of her voice annoys me and once her lips open, I want to shut them. Yet, I don't. I let her be.

I don't understand it, but this is what she has made me into.

Kindtouch.It came with changes I never imagined. Both of us are becoming something we never thought possible.

The warmth of her emotions when she imprints on my body makes it worth it to me, and soon she will understand the worth in her own changes.

There's something different about her again. I felt it when I put her grasper on my face, but I didn't tell her. I should've but I didn't. When I saw the panic in those eyes, I wanted nothing more but tocalmher, to protect her, to keep her safe from those very emotions she so vividly projects.

It must be her eyes. It's like they're reaching out into my head and swirling it around, putting on pressure that her graspers otherwise cannot. When she screams in pain, somehow, I can feel that pain, too.

I don't like it.

Those eyes of hers, those vivid reminders of her life, they're closing now. I know from her breathing that she's just fallingasleep, but it makes me feel… fear again. What if she doesn't open her eyes anymore? What if the warmth of her body disappears?

What do I do then?

Since the first moment I had it, I've endlessly craved her touch. As time goes on, I only want it more, want her more.

I cannot stand being separated from her, even in slumber.

I put my head on her chest and listen. I can hear her heart. It thumps on in her chest, steadily and quietly. It's nothing like I've ever heard before. I'm used to tracking heartbeats when I'm hunting, but this one is unique.

When I hear it, I don't think about stopping it. I think about letting it beat, making it stronger.

Letting her swim, even though she's clumsy. Feeding her, even though her teeth are blunt. Holding her, even though all she does is fight back.

Even now, I want to keep her no matter what I must do, or what I must kill.

I hold her close, wrapping my limbs around her now. I don't know what this is. I've never done this before.

I'm sure she would have a name for this action. She always has a name for everything. She called our lips touching akiss, so what would she call our bodies continually touching?

She made everything so… different.

My head is still on her chest and I'm counting the beats and numbering the intervals. It is useless energy to number a life, but I am afraid of it stopping.

All she's doing is sleeping and all I'm doing is worrying about her. Why do I worry? Why have I changed so much? I never wanted to change. I was fine the way I was. It was cold and… well, I was fine.

Was I really? I haven't lived a long life, but I've lived long enough to know that not all her words are lies.

I can survive on my own, but do I really want to?

I have before. I wandered the great oceans, rode currents, and hunted more monstrosities than her puny mind could comprehend.

Of all the places in this new world, why did I end up with her? Why her? Why did I get the rambling, never-stopping female stupid enough to offer me her touch? Teach me about akiss, from which there is no escape from wanting more.

---