Page 58 of Diamond

"We don't know how much daylight we have."

He has his face turned away from me, like he can't bear to look at me for too long.

It makes me start feeling a little dirty, but I push it aside. There is nothing dirty about the way I feel or the things I want to do. I won't be made to feel that way ever again.

It's my choice, just like it has been any woman's choice, and I always hated when people judged it.

I know he is only trying to avoid me and that makes me a little more annoyed. I am not a child; I am an adult and I find it completely disrespectful that he is choosing to reject me based on something I'm not.

"Don't call me a child, Kuret. Just say you don't want me."

"I didn't call you a child and I… can't say that."

What? He makes no sense, and it makes me so mad I whack him as hard as I can on his shoulder.

It surprises us both when he stumbles, but then he looks back at me with a hiss before whipping an arm out and yanking me to him.

Kuret pulls me close, his hands wrapping around my waist as he squeezes me to him. I can feel the strong beating of.. two hearts? I shake my head, then let out a squeak when he lifts me up off the ground so I am face level with him, my legs wrapping around his waist without thought.

My heartbeat quickens to match his, and time seems to slow down around us.

I start to pull myself away from him, but he is still clinging to me, his eyes staring into mine. Our faces are in such close proximity that I can see the black striations in his bright green eyes.

His face lowers onto mine, and my entire nervous system starts to misfire.

I freeze as my brain recollects all the information about kissing that I have ever known. It is one thing to attempt to initiate it and not know what you're doing and another to actually do it.

He notices the apprehension on my face and sets me down immediately. "I am sorry, I forgot myself," he says after he has cleared his throat and starts to walk away, but I decide that I have had enough of the back and forth.

"What if I want it, but I'm just not very good at it?" I ask softly behind him and he stops in his tracks.

I expect a response, but I watch his shoulders drop with defeat when he decides against it and makes his way to the cart. I chase after him and repeat my question, louder this time.

"You are too young for me, Nasrin. Please understand," he finally says when I catch up to him.

I let out an annoyed grunt, and this seems to catch his attention. "I think you are using this age thing as an excuse instead of just outrightly saying that you are not attracted to me."

He turns around, his hair whipping in the wind, the ornaments clacking and tinkling. His brilliant eyes are wide, the marks against his dark skin flaring to show his shifting emotions.

I almost can't believe there was a time when I didn't find him attractive.

"That is not true, Nasrin," is all he lets out.

I stay locked on to his gaze, afraid to break the connection I feel between us.

I can see that he has more to say but will not unless I force the words out of him, so I speak again. "So what is the matter, then? Surely I am not that much younger than you, Kuret. I would say that we are pretty close in age."

His brow furrows in the middle, creating a wrinkle on the sides of his face that I have come to associate with him being annoyed,insulted, or confused. "How long into your life are you?" he asks me.

I want to say about twenty or thirty percent but can't bring up the words to properly translate it into his language. When I don't find a suitable word, an idea comes to mind and I dart out to pick a long blade of grass from the ground, then turn back to him.

I hold it out between us. "This much is how long I have lived." I mark a quarter of the length of the leaf to show him. "And this is how much is left." I raise my hand and wave the longer bottom of the blade of grass in front of his face.

He shakes his head in what looks like a poor mockery of the human movement, and my heart speeds up.

I plead with it to slow down, thankful that he cannot hear my heart going crazy over the fact that he has just mirrored my actions. Surely that means something? That he would study my movements and mimic them.

You don't do that if you don't care.

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