Page 73 of Diamond

I swallow hard. "Thank you, Kuret."

Oddly enough, his simple statement makes me feel a lot better. Then it hits me why. Ever since I was forced to live with my brother's family, all I've heard is that I should just accept everything. What happened was my own fault.

No sympathy.

I hadn't realized just how starved I was for it, and it's strange getting it from someone I thought, at first, had room only for violence. I've been hasty in my own judgments, and I should know better. It makes that aching longing to trust him rise up again, right along with the anxiety, but this time I don't stamp it back down right away.

He is a completely different species. We aren't even on Earth. Maybe it's time to let go of all those things I learned in the past to keep me safe. They might not work here, for one thing.

See, it's logical. I snort out a breath. There's no sense in lying to myself. I will be seeking the same sense of security I felt as a child with my parents for those few short years before I knew what violence was for the rest of my life. I will never stop longing for it.

Maybe it's time to stop pushing everyone away and find out if he is worthy of my trust. I gulp, my heart pounding in fear, but also in anticipation. In hope. I open my mouth to tell him about it, but then close it with a sharp crack.

That's one step too far right now, and that's alright. I'll just have to work on opening my heart up, even if it is just a tiny crackfor now, and either build that confidence… or he'll destroy me. Either way, at least I won't be giving in to fear. I've done enough of that for a lifetime.

I feel lighter when I move toward him. As I walk, I realize that my ankle pain has disappeared completely, as well as the pain in the other parts of my body.

He also seems to be moving well. "Is your leg feeling a lot better? My injuries are healed."

His lips lift at the edges. "Yes. It is mostly healed, which should have taken many weeks. It wasn't just our imagination."

I start being thankful to the genali, a habit ingrained since childhood. My hand goes up to push my hair behind my ear and I remember that it is stark white.

All the appreciationgoes out of me; I doubt giving us this ability was a kindness.

"Your pain is gone?" he asks. "You look less rigid and I am glad."

I smile up at Kuret. "Yes, it is."

He starts to smile back but stops himself, probably remembering my reaction the last time he did. Guilt surges. I haven't been fair to him.

"I like your smile, Kuret," I assure him.

When it blooms, his sharp teeth showing in a wide grin, far wider than a human could ever produce, my heart confirms my words.It no longer looks scary and I love the way it shifts the patterns on his cheeks and how they surge with his joy.

"I am glad. We should get going now. I scouted the area earlier and I think I found a way to get to Ree."

He seems excited about his discovery, and it makes me feel even more enthusiastic about the day. Maybe things won't be so bad. It makes me cautiously optimistic, like things are finally starting to go our way.

Meeting up with the woman named Ree has been Kuret's plan all along, and the fact that we are moving forward makes me feel a spark of purpose.

Even if I don't feel like I've contributed much so far. I need to change that. My mind carefully ignores stabbing into that green hunter. It isn't a contribution as much as a crime. Maybe? I don't know. This place is confusing my sense of morality.

I glance at the gun I left in the cart instead of keeping with me last night. The urge to fight my discomfort about it and the memories it stirs up from another life, became dominant and that was stupid. Sure, I slept with the knife nearby, but realistically, I won't be able to use it much.

Not unless Kuret holds everything still while I stab it, and that doesn't seem practical.

Today I attach the cart to Darya, hoping to give Roshan a rest. He doesn't want to follow behind and positions himself in front of her.

I climb into the cart and make sure the gun is in easy reach, ignoring the pounding of my heart at the thought of touching it, even though I held it in my hands yesterday. The mind is so fickle.

Before we set out, Kuret hands me some remains of some creature he roasted. "How long have you been awake?"

"I woke up when the sun came up as well, not all that long before you."

If he did all that, then he's just trying to make me feel better.

The sudden thought that he might have seen me sleeping in an embarrassing position sends a blush creeping up my face, but I wrestle it away quietly.

---