Page 83 of Diamond

I almost laugh at how quickly I changed my mind about the cloister as soon as Olivia said Ree's name, but instead I just argue. "You are so quick to think about putting me in some kind of confinement, Kuret. And I don't think I enjoy you making decisions for me." I cross my arms and strike a defiant pose.

"I am not making decisions for you, and it is not confinement at all. It is a cloister. For your own safety," he argues. "If you are right and the thing you saw take Oliva is a person—"

"I amright. It spoke and said she was his," I argue back.

I have had enough of people thinking they can just order me around. That has been my whole life. No more.

He opens his mouth, but I interrupt him by holding a hand up to his face.

He looks away from me and I take it as a sign of disbelief. He thinks Olivia is dead and I am crazy for hearing a monster speak.

Ya Allah. How am I still facing misogyny a million light years away from Earth?

I pin my lips together and turn around, walking away from him.

I hear him click his tongue and begin walking after me, the argila following behind us. "Why do you have such a problem with being in a cloister with others like you?"

I almost tell him my earlier realization that I changed my mind, but it's more expedient to just let it stand. Then I glance back and I can see his face is screwed up into a mask of frustration, his veins straining against his neck. As if my answer matters more than I could ever know.

I stop in my tracks because his question is a valid one. Why do I, a woman, have a problem with being confined? I don't know if I actually have an answer for him or if I am just pushing back forthe sake of it, but something about all of this still just doesn't sit right with me. I'm vacillating between wanting safety at any cost and remembering the horror of growing up where every possible choice for women is curtailed.

Sure, I want to make it somewhere safe and be done with all this for good, but not in another prison.

He stops behind me and I turn around to face him. "I don't have a problem with being confined. I have a problem being thrown into confinement by a man."

He opens his mouth to speak, but I wiggle my finger in his face.

"I am not finished, Kuret. If you know what it is like to be a woman in my world, you would understand exactly why I don't want to be in a cloister."

I am panting, my hand is shaking, and my heart is racing. Part of my mind is telling me that it's not the same, but the other part is overtaken by the fear. By memory.

Kuret looks at me with a firmness in his eyes, like he is going to argue, but then his face falls. "Tell me what it is like, then."

I can sense the sincerity in his words, so I try to calm down a little and prepare to tell the story. I let out a breath I didn't even realize I had been holding and swallow thickly. "Alright, I'll tell you."

I sigh again before I begin to speak.

His steely eyes hold mine with a familiar intensity as the story begins to flow freely from my lips.

"A few of my friends and classmates got kidnapped on their way back from protesting a ban against education. I should have been with them, but I wasn't available that day. It was a peaceful protest. They held their placards and boards and they called out to the government, begging to be allowed to learn and teach. Before the day ended, they were captured."

His brow is lower now and he looks confused, but he doesn't interrupt me.

"They were taken and held captive for over two months. When they returned, they were shadows of their former selves. People who were once extremely happy women were now skeletons with torn mouths and multiple injuries. They were confined, all because they wanted to learn. I wasn't allowed to see them for weeks because their families were told to watch over them. As if they moved from one jail cell to another."

"What is a jail cell?"

My eyebrows shoot up, but I remind myself that we come from different worlds. In his, it sounds like they just kill criminals.

"It's a cage. They are supposed to feed you, but for these women, they put glass in their food. They were beaten and some of them raped."

"And the males were not punished?"

"No, Kuret. The males were the ones punishing them."

"For what? No, it doesn't matter. Nothing would explain that."

"I wasn't allowed to see them after that. They were locked inside their homes. That is what a cloister is to me."

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