Page 51 of Cursed

“She is unreachable now.” Tavi shakes her head. “We are on our own.”

16

SECOND CHANCES

ROURKE

With the eerie warning about being on our own now and that my fated mate is at the center of the coming changes, I feel the need to protect her even more… if that were possible. Well, maybe not protective so much as supportive.

“Would you like me to help you with your fire magic now?” I ask over our morning breakfast.

Shayla’s eyes widen. I’m unsure if her reaction is due to the fact that I’ve offered or because she hates fire. But she had said she wanted me to show her. Perhaps she just isn’t used to me dropping my asshole persona yet.

She nods slowly. “Uh, yeah. That’s probably a good idea.”

After we finish eating our sweet cakes, Shayla takes my hand as we walk out toward the little meadow, and it’s my turn to feel surprised.

Sure, we’ve been getting along lately. And she’s allowed me to satisfy her sexually with my mouth and fingers. But I’ve been coming to terms with the idea that she might never choose me as her mate.

I’m finally alone with Shayla for the first time since our strained reconnection in my lair. I remember healing her with the salve and how I had to confess my truths about Branden. And that I had put my family and obligations above my bond with her. I should have told herwhyI was pushing her away—to keep her safe from my family’s wrath and because of my relationship with Branden.

My behavior all this time was so stupid. My father is evil. And Branden was right. Shayla would have accepted our relationship from the beginning. She has even offered her bonded mate a choice to be with others if the incubus needed it to be whole. I had once believed she was greedy. When in reality, she is more generous than any of us. I know we all would keep her for ourselves if we could.

Being alone with her now, just holding her hand, feels amazing and terrifying. I’m worried that I’ll mess this all up.

Who am I kidding? I probably will say or do something dumb.

I’m the fuck-up my father believes I am.

And I’m that fuck-upbecauseI listened to him. Believed in him. Followed his power-hungry ways and tried to mimic his arrogant attitude.

And what have I earned for myself? A strained, fragile relationship with my fated mate and my chosen love. I don’t deserve their love, but I hope one day I can earn it. I just hope we live that long for me to do that.

“What’s on your mind?” she asks, swinging my arm with our joined hands as if we are carefree young loves. When in reality, we are anything but.

She’s tolerating me, slowly forgiving me. Though I still have so far to go.

“I’m… it’s nothing,” I brush it off.

“Do you think I’ll judge you?” she asks, stopping and facing me.

I turn to look at her but quickly avert my eyes and stare at the ground. It pains me to stare into her caring eyes after what I’ve done.

“I know you wouldn’t do that,” I say softly.

“Are you upset that I haven’t asked for our bond to be solidified? Even though you say that you want me to wait until I’m ready?” She catches my chin to make me look at her, daring me to lie. “It’s okay if that’s how you feel. I have a lot of mixed-up emotions and always have when it comes to you.”

Goddess! Her kindness actually makes it harder to forgive myself for the past. “Why do you have to be so kindhearted and understanding?” I blurt out.

“Would you rather I be mean?” Her voice drips with humor. “Because I can try that if it makes you feel better.”

“No… I don’t know…maybe?” I sigh and finally gaze into her gorgeous lavender eyes. “I just feel like an asshole. And rightfully so. I am—was. But when you’re so open and forgiving… I don’t know what to do.”

“I get it.”

“You do?” I blink.

Maybe she does?

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