Page 30 of Dr. Scandal Claus

I stood and waited, and she slunk into my office, this time looking far more pleasant than the last few times. Instead of her hair being spiked up, she'd parted it to the side and feathered it. Her features looked softer, more aligned with what I knew her personality to be when she was being kind. And the Casper original fit her very well. I'd have been lying if I said I didn't notice how beautiful she was—she always had been. That was never an issue for her. It was her wretched personality that made her ugly.

"Nicky…" she purred and she shut the door behind herself. She carried a brown paper sack, folded over at the top. Her heels clicked on the floor as she approached my desk. "I brought you lunch…" She sounded a bit discouraged or upset, but I wasn't going to ask her what was wrong. It was a kindness she didn't deserve. She'd ruined me. Why would I be kind to her now?

"I thought I asked you to leave me alone—more than once." I sat back down and didn't even reach for the bag, so she frowned and opened it, pulling out takeout dishes and setting them on my desk.

"I know, but you say things you don't mean. I just thought we should talk and talking over lunch is the best thing to do."

There was no point trying to reason with this woman, and caving in to her lunacy wasn't an option either, but I did think maybe it was time to bury the hatchet. I watched her set lunch out. It was my favorite, Crab Rangoon, and General Tso's chicken from Lee's Chinese. Unfortunately for her, the fastest way to my heart was not through my stomach.

I decided to enjoy the food despite not enjoying the company at all, and we ate in amiable silence for a moment. I wondered what her goal was, what purpose she had for coming back into my life if for no other reason than to make sure Scarlett saw and got jealous or left me. It would be just like Fiona to do that, get in my way and make me more miserable. But she seemed nicer today, less pushy.

"So I just wanted to say I'm sorry," she said between bites, and I saw the remorse on her face. "I know what you said last time I stopped by your house and you're right. I did horrible things." She paused and stared into her dish of food and I lost my appetite. Fiona was genuinely apologizing. "I was scared and Dad put pressure on me…It's no excuse and I know it hurt you really badly."

When she looked up, I saw the tears streaming down her face. It almost made me believe she was being honest with me, that she really felt remorseful. But the hurt went so deep it didn't matter what she said or even if she could wipe away all the gossip and restore my career. It was over between us. I didn't love her anymore.

"We were so good together, Nicky." And I hated that nickname now too. "We had our whole life planned out."

"Yes, we did." It was one thing we could agree on. We were perfect for each other back then. We were going places, and wewere so in love. Now she was a blip on my past radar and my sights were set on my future.

"I talked to Dad. He's on the board of Minneapolis General." The vise on my heart tightened. I knew her father was a board member when they offered me the privileges to practice there. He'd been booted from Mercy after the scandal, even after he made me the scapegoat and ruined me, along with Fiona's help. He scrabbled to find work and landed gracefully as a board member for General and a few other hospitals too, and he even continued his practice without any hiccups.

"I'm aware."

"I'm just saying, I can get you promotions, pay raises. The life we planned. Your practice can be everything it's supposed to be. We could be happy, Nicky. Big house, two dogs, a few kids…" She looked hopeful and it tugged at my heart strings.

What she was saying was everything I wanted. I dreamed of my career going places. I was almost there before it all fell apart, and now I was having to rebuild. And I wanted a family, a big one, not just a few kids. I wanted five kids, a few dogs, a life that felt full and happy, and I wanted it so desperately I could taste it.

The way she laid it all out for me even made me tempted to believe I could have it. All of it—the career, the fame, the money, the house, the kids…the love.

Just not with her.

I was a fool of epic proportions.

The realization dawned on me as Fiona kept talking. I took small bites, pretending to be listening, but my heart was elsewhere, dreaming of a life with Scarlett. She was the one I wanted all of that with. I wanted a home for the two of us, Ethan, a smattering of babies. I wanted the dream with the house and the picket fence and the love, all the love. She was the one I was meant to be with, and this entire month of separation I'd beenhung up on something she did eight years ago, never stopping to realize how I was treating her now.

"Fiona," I said, interrupting her.

She stopped and set her food down and sighed. "Yeah, baby. I'll do anything. Please, forgive me."

"Fiona, I can't do this with you." As I said the words she jumped to her feet and walked around the end of my desk.

"Nick, please. You have to give me another chance."

I turned my chair and started to get up but she threw herself on me, kneeling and wrapping her arms around my waist. She clung to me like a leech, and I gripped the arms of my chair so hard my knuckles went white.

"Please, baby." She was crying. "I'm so sorry. You can't possibly love her. She isn't like me. She can't do what I can do for you."

"Fiona, stop this now." I grabbed her arms, careful not to grasp too hard, and I pulled her off my body. "I don't love you."

"No, you do. Just kiss me, just once. Just kiss me and tell me you don't feel anything." She leaned in and I had to back away. There was no way I was kissing her.

The sad part was, all the anger and rage I'd felt for her suddenly turned to pity. I no longer wished her dead or any harm to her. Now I felt sorry for her. A grown woman throwing herself at me like this must be pretty miserable.

"I need you to leave, and I need you to never come back. We are done. I'm not coming back to you. I don't love you. I'm in love with Scarlett and I want a family with her. Please. Leave." My last two words were punctuated with silence, and she wiped her hands across her face as she backed away.

Instead of the anger I thought I'd see, I only saw a defeated woman. She stood there looking at me like a broken waif, hoping I'd change my mind, but I raised my arm and pointed at the door. Fiona took her purse and walked out, closing the doorsoftly, and I was on my feet almost instantly. I should never have let Scarlett leave my office. I should have told her to stay and talk it out with me, but I didn't know until just now.

I wanted every single thing Fiona promised me, but I wanted it with Scarlett and the only way to make that happen was for my own heart to get over it and move on. I couldn't hold Scarlett's secret or her fear against her anymore. If I wanted her, I had to forgive, and I would. I couldn't imagine a day without her anymore.

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