Page 36 of Hoarded By the Dragon

His eyes freeze over, and my words dry up. “Was about sex,” he says. “Not love, and it was a mistake.”

Mistake. That word shatters the tenuous hope in my chest that whispered that I’d finally found my place in the world. That after all the human couples who’d declined to adopt me, I’d found a family.

“Being mated to you would be a lower circle of hell,”he’d said. Even if he could mate with me, he wouldn’t want to.

Kalos clears his throat and pushes his chair away from the table, standing and adjusting his suit. He takes the jagged remains of that hope and continues to stab my heart.

“You are the mother of my child. I will try my best to make you comfortable, but do not look to me for anything else.”

The numbness spreads out from my chest.

“I don’t say this to be cruel, but for you to know your place here,” Kalos says.

I blink up at him. For all that his pain was on display a moment ago, his face shows no emotion now. He nods like I’ve agreed and leaves. His footsteps are clipped and echo in the empty dining room until they fade, disappearing entirely.

The beautiful room that was warm and cheery just a moment ago is as silent as a tomb.

I inhale a shuddery breath, trying to do damage control on the thud of my heart.

I don’t love him, so why does what he said hurt so much?

* * *

Sleep comes slowly for me.I’m in the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in, and still my mind spins. I find another blanket in the closet and add it to the bed. I’m not quite cold yet, but past the hollow pain in my chest, the chill is encroaching again.

Eventually I’ll go to Kalos to get an injection of warmth, but I can’t right now. I’m licking my wounds.

Tomorrow, I’ll be strong. Tonight, I grieve.

I don’t love Kalos. I loved the idea of having a fated mate. A place where I fit. I thought that maybe that place could be with Kalos.

There’s something magnetic about him. When he’s not being cruel, it’s hard to remember that he’s practically a stranger.

But nothing is going to happen with him. He still feels for the rightful mate that he lost.

I sigh and rub my chest.

I’d always expected that when I had kids, it would be with a man who loved me. Who was excited to be a father and we’d be every bit of the family that I never had. It’s not fair to hold Kalos to that expectation, but releasing my desire for that is hard.

It clings to me with skeletal hands. It has the power to make me miserable if I’m constantly thinking of what I don’t and can’t have. It’s not my fault Kalos is the definition of emotionally unavailable. I can’t expect that to change. I can only expect to adapt to the situation.

I’m having a baby. They will be my family. Stella will be my family. Maybe with time, Maggie and Ben will be too. I can mourn the moment of losing something I never had, but I won’t let that take me down in a spiral.

I don’t realize that I’ve fallen asleep until I wake in the dark with a start, shivering.

Cinnamon and the scent of campfire.

He’s here.

I’m on my side, and the blankets behind me lift.

My throat swells closed. The chill has returned.

The bed dips like he’s pressed his knee on the edge.

“I am sorry for hurting you,” he says softly. There’s a warmth near my cheek as if his hand hovers there, but it disappears without touching me.

I swallow and don’t respond. The emotions I thought I’d tamped down are too close to the surface. I don’t want to say something stupid likeWhy don’t you want me?

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