Page 29 of The Breakaway

“We need to get acclimated. Jet lag and all that.”

“Well, hopefully it all works out.” I stretched the phone cord so I could look at my calendar hanging next to the computer across the room. Today was the sixteenth of November. “So we can talk for the next two weeks on the phone. Then email?” Logan was terrible at email. And who knew how often he’d have access to a computer?

“Yep. Maybe I’ll have to do some typing practice.” He chuckled.

“You know, in all your spare time.” Here we were, fantasizing again.

“Love you, Shar.”

“Love you, Logan.” I hung up the phone.

Not wanting to think too much about the wildly confusing conversation we just had, I finished my yogurt, then blasted the radio and got in the shower. I washed my hair, grateful for the thousandth time that it was short, then shaved my legs for absolutely zero reason—I wasn’t going to the pool anytime soon and the only person who would notice my smooth skin was in another province—and got out.

The steamy washroom mirror greeted me, and I swiped a hand across the glass. It was go time. Game day makeup was a ritual. Really only for Maddie, Crystal, and me, but that counted. Winged black eyeliner with gold shadow, mascara, and a bold red lip. It was close enough to our school colours without it looking like our lipstick had expired.

I glanced down at the bracelet on the shelf and picked it up. It was beautiful. Delicate. I slipped it around my wrist and tightened the clasp, then dried my hair and left it a little spiky with product. Once I threw on my Outlaws jersey, I headed out to meet Maddie.

By the time we arrived at the parking lot, it was already buzzing with pregame energy. Tailgates down, music blasting, the scent of charcoal grilled burgers and beer wafting through the air. This was college hockey at its finest.

"Hey!" Crystal's pink hair bobbed through the crowd as she waved me over. "About time, girl. We were about to send out a search party."

Maddie grinned, handing me a red Solo cup. "Drink up. It's game time."

I took a sip, the cheap beer cold and bitter on my tongue. We laughed and joked with the other Outlaws fans, the camaraderieelectric. But as the minutes ticked by, I noticed Maddie and Crystal exchanging glances, their eyes darting to me with poorly concealed concern.

"What?" I finally asked, exasperated. "Do I have something on my face?"

Crystal shook her head. "No, you just seem a bit off today. Everything okay?"

I forced a smile. "Yeah, totally. This is just weird without Logan, you know?"

It was a good enough excuse, they let it drop. I considered telling them everything swirling in my head. They wouldn’t have judged me. But I couldn’t speak any of it yet since I wasn’t finished judging myself.

Why couldn’t I just be excited for Logan? Why had I put myself in that stupid situation in the courtyard? And why did my chest resonate like someone was dragging a bow over an upright bass anytime I thought about Rob?

I put more energy into looking like I was having a good time, which meant I was the star of the show. Hilarious! Charming! Full of anecdotes! The Sharla everyone knew and loved.

I needed a nap by the time we made our way into the rink, but parking ourselves on the benches directly under the heaters was almost enough of a reward for my efforts. The stands were a sea of maroon and gold, Outlaws fans out in full force. On the opposite side, a small but vocal cluster of Rocky College of Montana fans sat waving a blue flag.

Crystal unfurled our own massive banner reading "GO OUTLAWS!" in glittery letters while Maddie pulled out a stack of posters she'd made with each player’s number. “Aw, guess we don’t need this one.” She held up a number eighteen, then slid it back into her folder.

Something about that hit me like a bucket of cold water. I was suddenly back in the hall, listening to Rob and Logan.Shedoesn’t understand the kind of dedication and commitment this takes, bud.

Was this what he meant? That I didn’t get how hockey would take Logan away from me? How hard it would be to stay home while he was off having grand adventures in the US or Europe or wherever else they wanted him to play?

I clenched my fists. I was nothing if not dedicated and committed. I could do this for two months, and then Logan and I could talk about everything. Distance was the problem here, notus.

The Outlaws took the ice for warmups, and the ache in my chest eased. These boys were family, a band of brothers I'd come to love over the past year. From the first line to the fourth, the starting goalie to the backup, they were my boys. And tonight, I'd cheer them on with everything I had, even if my heart wasn't fully in it.

We chatted and laughed until the lights dimmed, and we all rose for the national anthems. The choir sang both the Canadian and American since the visiting team was from Montana. I already wanted to throat-punch them, which didn’t bode well for the shit-talking that was about to come out of my mouth during the game.

“Here we go!” Crystal grabbed onto my arm and squeezed. The buzzer sounded, signalling the start of the game. I leaned forward, my eyes locked on the ice.

Rob took the face-off. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it was still jarring to see him in Logan’s place. As the puck dropped, I tried to figure out which player was opposite him. The guy who’d grabbed my arm? One of his friends?

Their sticks clashed. Rob won, kicking the puck across to Axel. And then he was crushed against the boards.

“Interference!” Maddie cried out. The ref didn’t see it. He was already down the ice. “That’s bull!”

---