Page 93 of The Breakaway

"Yeah." He nodded once and turned to his room, but I slapped my hand on the counter.

"Yeah? That's all you have to say?"

He froze but didn't turn back. "What else is there to say, Sharla?"

Tears stung my eyes.I love you. I’m in love with you."There has to be some way?—"

He whirled. His eyes so dark they swallowed me up. "There's no other way. You're sleeping with my best friend, and you read the damn letter. I can't live like this anymore. I have to find some way to move on."

His words stung like a slap. I opened my mouth, then snapped it closed. He was right. He was exactly right.You’re sleeping with my best friend.

I was. I was with Logan. And here I was telling Rob I didn’t want to lose him.

Rob kept walking.

I flinched when the door slammed closed behind him.

Chapter

Thirty

I tookCrystal up on her offer, and the next morning I was sitting in her living room. The Christmas tree bathed everything in a warm glow, the colourful lights dancing across the walls. It was about ten times larger than our pink tree. My heart twinged, and I focused in on the hodgepodge of homemade and nostalgic ornaments.

Crystal bounced over with two steaming mugs of hot cocoa piled high with marshmallows. "One for you, m'lady." She handed me a mug with an exaggerated bow. "With extra 'mallows, just how you like it."

I smiled and took a sip, the velvety chocolate and gooey marshmallows coating my tongue. "Mmm, you know me so well. What would I do without you?"

"Crash and burn, obviously." Crystal flopped down beside me on the couch, propping her fuzzy-socked feet on the coffee table. "So, ready for two days of non-stop MacMillan family holiday cheer? We've got cookie baking, carol singing, board games?—"

"Bring it on." I clinked my mug against hers.

And for the next forty-eight hours, I let myself get swept up in Crystal's family traditions. We made an ungodly amountof sugar cookies (eating half the dough), belted out off-key renditions of Christmas songs, and played cutthroat rounds of Monopoly that nearly ripped apart family bonds. It was exactly the distraction I needed. But even through the laughter, my heart still felt like it was in a cage. Squeezed too tight.

On Christmas Eve, duty called. I zipped up my nicest sweater dress and waited for my parents to pick me up. We went to their favourite Italian restaurant in downtown Calgary. The cozy atmosphere wrapped around me like a warm hug as we were seated at a candlelit table. Dad looked healthier than he had the other day in the hospital, his cheeks rosy and eyes bright. That did wonders for my soul.

We sipped glasses of Chianti—well, all of us except Isabel—and nibbled on focaccia as we perused the menu. I ordered the lobster ravioli while Mom and Dad both went for the osso bucco.

"You seem distracted, honey," Mom said, studying me over her wine glass. "Everything okay?"

I forced a smile. "Yeah, of course. Just thinking about school stuff."

Truth was, my mind kept drifting to Logan's latest email. He'd written finally, gushing about how much he missed me and couldn't wait to get back. But nothing in response to what I’d said. I chose to ignore it. I wanted to believe him, to cling to the possibility that he'd come home and everything would magically be perfect between us again.

The waiter arrived with our entrees, providing a welcome distraction. We dug in, savouring each delicious bite. For dessert, we split a decadent tiramisu and exchanged gifts. I gave Dad a leather-bound journal, Isabel a silver charm bracelet, and mom some hand-stitched kitchen towels. They surprised me with a gorgeous cashmere scarf in a deep plum hue.

After lingering over cappuccinos, we finally said our goodbyes. I hugged my parents tightly.

"We love you, Shar," Dad said gruffly. "Phone us anytime, okay? For anything."

I nodded, blinking back tears. "I will. Love you both."

I gave Isabel a longer hug than I normally would’ve. She seemed happy, and I prayed it stayed that way.

Back at Crystal's, we had a photo from Maddie in Hawaii waiting for us. It took nearly an hour to download, but then we got to see her grinning in a bikini on the beach, sipping Mai Tai’s at sunset. I sighed wistfully.

“Whore.” Crystal typed, then pressed send. I laughed and sent a “Jealous, but we’re both actually happy for you!” message.

Christmas morning at Crystal’s house felt like stepping into someone else’s family photo. I sat cross-legged on the floor in my pajamas, holding a stocking that her parents had filled for me. It shouldn’t have hit me so hard, but it did.

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