Page 6 of My Rose

For the past five years? Yeah, I wasoff,alright. For much longer than that.

“I didn’t turn down Princeton. I got accepted, and when Father found out, he burned the acceptance letter and then beat me. Said he wasn’t done with me yet.” I reached for my sweatpants that were folded and pressed neatly by the entrance to my walk-in closet. When I dropped the towel to pull my pants on, Dean huffed behind me.

“Jesus, Briggs. A warning next time.” His voice was muffled as if his hand was covering his face again. “If I’m being honest, I think you need to get laid and not by a stripper. Get your head right. Find a girl. We all need to be loved.”

“Who would want to love someone like me?” The words came out before I could stop them, but inside it was one of the gnawing questions that reverberated in my mind whenever I laid my head down at night. I’d never truly be free from the VanAndrews business, and that business had become my life, just like my father wanted it to be.

“Hell, Briggs. You’re better than him, you know. Your mother left for what I’m sure were good reasons. But I don’t think a woman would think twice about leaving you.”

I lifted a finger towards him. “Your daughter thought otherwise.” Not that I ever cared to revisit my almost-arranged marriage to his daughter. Thank-fucking-god I dodged that bullet.

He shook his head. “My daughter is exactly like her mother. She will never settle down.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were more into me than she ever was.” I cocked my brow in his direction through the mirror.

“You know I don’t like dicks. Don’t fuck with me. I’m being serious.” His voice lowered as he threaded his fingers through the top of his hair. “Jasmine is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. You need someone like her.”

“What, half my age and ready to ride my dick whenever I demand?” I deadpanned.

He cackled loudly. “Exactly. Except maybe not half your age. That would be wrong.”

“So find a girl willing to love me, and let her ride me. Got it.”

“Now you do.” He pulled out his phone from his pocket and lifted a finger at me as he turned back into my bedroom. “I’ll be right there, baby. Hang tight. The chopper ride won’t be too long.” He winked at me as I passed by him on the way to my bed. I sat on the edge as he made his way to the door.

“Get out of your head. That’s a fucking order.” He shut the door behind him, his voice fading quickly down the hall as he spoke to Jasmine on the phone.

I wouldn’t even know where to begin to get out of my head. Wasn’t that exactly what I was trying to do tonight before I failed? I reached over to pick up my phone, opening the list of contacts.I didn’t keep in touch with anyone I’d grown up with. When my training started for VanAndrews, so did the ghosting I did to each one of the people I had in my life. Now, I had no one besides the people who were paid to be there for me, and Dean.

I switched to scrolling through posts on social media outlets, stopping when I saw a post of Rose as a kid with her parents. The words above the picture were simple—a declaration of love and missing them, with a heart emoji at the end. A cold shiver ran down my spine, that pain returning as I stared at the photo. The anniversary of their death was coming up, and August still bailed on her. I gripped the phone tight enough to crack the corner of the screen as I saw his comment—a single heart emoji. That was probably all she’d get from him.

Maybe Dean was right. Maybe I did need to get out of my head, more than he was even aware of. I picked up the phone again just as a text came in.

Clarissa: Hey sexy. Want to go to a party with me next weekend? Daddy says I can’t go alone.

Briggs: Is that all he said? Sounds like he told you to make me take you.

Clarissa: Aw. Why, would that change your mind? You used to love taking me places. Like your bedroom.

Briggs: Clarissa.

Clarissa: Okkkk. Fine. Yes, he may have said something like that. So will you take me? I miss your car.

Briggs: That’s the only thing you miss.

Clarissa: Not true. Your dick was also pretty superb. Why’d we break up, again?

Briggs: You know why. I’ll go, but keep your hands to yourself.

Clarissa: But that’s no fun.

Briggs: Clarissa.

Clarissa: Fine. Hands to myself. My ass might be elsewhere, though. I make no promises about where the rest of my body goes, either.

Briggs: Clarissa.

Clarissa: Okay. Handsandbody to myself. Can I at least drive your car?

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