Page 66 of My Rose

Janice kept watching me throughout the rest of my shift like she feared for me or feared me in general and I had to act like I didn’t notice because talking to anyone about anything felt like a betrayal. Saying what had happened aloud would make me seem crazy for trying to justify it or for even putting myself in a situation like that. Briggs came from another world entirely, and no one in Shuster would understand.

I’m not sure any normal person would understand.

The store was busier than it normally was with people stocking up in case another storm was to blow through, yet not a single person who came in was just barely over six feet, with light blond hair and piercing green eyes that had trapped me in a gravitational pull I didn’t know how to escape. I didn’t know if I was naive or if it wasjust plain wrong of me to want him to burst through the door and find me—the wallowing mess—at a register I didn’t give two fucks to be at. I wanted him to come and tell me...I didn’t even know what I needed to hear. I didn’t think a simple set of words could fix the damage that had been done. And that made it all the more difficult to understand exactly what I needed to get over this hurdle.

Everything hurt. Everything sucked. All life lacked color and all voices were muted and dull. Nothing and no one had ever been like Briggs Andrews, and I wasn’t sure anything or anyone ever would be. It went beyond the things we did together. Something about him had begun to feel like we were two opposites that attracted in the messiest, yet best of ways. He’d been open with me, and in return, I opened myself up to the possibility of us, nurturing that into therealityof us. And I didn’t want to go back to how it had been before when he wasn’t in my life.

My phone vibrated a lot while on break, but by the time I mustered up the courage to check it, I sighed heavily and pouted enough to make one of my coworkers glare back at me like I’d insulted their peace while they were on their break. I shifted my phone to cover my face and read the several messages, each sounding more panicked than the last.

Jasmine: Are you okay?

Jasmine: Your grandmother called me and said she was worried about you.

Jasmine: Said you haven’t been the same since the heir apparent dropped you off.

Yep, I had let him take me home while I tried not to cry in his passenger seat. It was the slowest, most painful car ride of my life.

Jasmine: Dean is dropping me off at your house if you don’t start answering my texts.

Rose: I’m not home.

Jasmine: Ohmygod YOU’RE ALIVE

Rose: If this is living, then yes. I’m alive.

Jasmine: What the fuck happened to you? Snowstorm get your panties in a bunch?

My nose scrunched as I checked the break time I had left. Besides everything that had happened between Briggs and I, Jasmine wasn’t necessarily making me feel any better with what she’d hidden from me. Was I truly that terrible to confide in that no one could tell me the goddamn truth?

Rose: I have to get back to work. I’ll call you in a few days.

Jasmine: No. You’ll call me when you get off or you will be seeing my fine ass in your driveway.

Rose: You’re kind of mean, you know that?

Jasmine: No, I love you, and you are scaring the people around you. Where is that broody boy anyway? Doesn’t he want to make you feel good?

Rose: Idk, why don’t you ask Dean or someone who cares.

Jasmine: Oh, shit.

I worked the last hour of my shift, running through exactly what I’d tell Minnie, and restarted my mental spiel whenever I thought of VanLuxe or the strippers. Her coworkers, if she still worked there. If Briggs didn’t share his women, then I doubted Dean did, either.Though, who could be sure when they all seemed like a bunch of liars now?

Memories flooded my thoughts—how he’d read to me for not only one night but two, how he answered my questions and opened up to me in a way I didn’t expect, and how wild he made me feel. And I still smelled like oranges somehow. I smelled like him, and it made tears come to the surface as I realized how dumb I’d been for believing we could be anything to each other. I was just a naive, twenty-two-year-old virgin woman who stupidly believed in the insane notion of true love and happily ever afters. Yet, somehow I picked the wrong fucking guy not only once but twice.

My taste in men was apparently as bad as my ability to regain my voice. Both had needed some serious help. August was an asshole, Briggs was a liar, and if I kept reaching for the stars, then the third guy I’d inevitably find would probably end up being a murderer. I’d prefer the company of artwork and relics for the rest of my life, secluded in a cold room, over the idea of being murdered by my spouse.

I started walking home right as the sun started to set, kicking chunks of snow from the edges of the sidewalk with each step until my phone rang. My stomach sank as I saw Jasmine’s name flash on the screen. Anticipating having to tell my best friend what had happened was one thing, but at that moment, all clear thoughts left my head. Like she was a vacuum to my bottled-up emotions that were waiting to be sucked up.

“Rose.” She paused as I sighed into the phone, crushing it against my cold cheek. “Spill.”

So I did. I started with how he’d taken me to his secluded spot after the diner, then promised me a date which didn’t end in an actual date but ended with me tracking him down, to then being holed-up with him in his house for an incredible day I’d probably never have the luxury of forgetting until…until I heard what his dad said to him as he stood there looking down at us like his son was trash and I was the whore fucking the trash.

I pulled my jacket around myself tighter. “Oh, shit Rose. I didn’t…I didn’t ever see Briggs there at VanLuxe. I didn’t know he was going there.” Her voice tapered off like she wasn’t sure how much she wanted to share with me. “That place…something was off, and I didn’t really last long there.”

“What do you—”

She interrupted almost immediately. “Forget it. But excuse me about the sexy shit?! Did you say August was on the phone, or did I hear things wrong? It’s windy where you are, but I think I heard that asshole’s name.”

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