Page 71 of My Rose

I glanced at the doors, then back at him. “Honestly, I don’t know how I’ve waited this long.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah. I know the feeling.” He pulled out his phone, and I saw the nameJasmineflash on his screen. “It gets harder when you have someone you care about.” He waved the phone around the room, matching his wandering eyes. “This shit—it all gets to be too much sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” I laughed and pushed my hands into my pockets. “Try all the fucking time.”

“Ah, so that’s why you took the pills, then.” I glared at Dean over my shoulder as we strode through the empty club. The neon lights were off in a few places, leaving dark and ominous pits that were normally filled with naked women and their buyers for the evening. As we stepped into one of those dark spots, Dean gripped my neck from behind and tugged me back. I swung around on instinct, swinging a fist he managed to dodge at the last second. “Easy, killer. Just want to talk.”

I adjusted my suit and shook out my hands. “There’s nothing to discuss.”

“My ass. You want to get fucked up, then act like a man who has something to get fucked up over. Own it.”

My teeth ground so loud my ears rang. “It doesn’t matter. She was finding out too much, too fast.” I looked away from Dean as we continued through the club. “Bringing her into my life was never going to end well.”

“Briggs,” Dean sighed as he patted my shoulder. “Briggs, Briggs.” He pulled me back before I could open the heavy front door, and my fist clenched at my side. “Just wait a minute. Fuck.” I pinched my eyes closed, trying to escape whatever conversation he thought was about to happen.

“I told you. There’s nothing to discuss.”

“Wait. Let me show you something.” He held up a finger as he scrolled through his phone until he found what he wanted to show me. It was a picture of Rose from the day at the diner, judging by what she was wearing and the way she did her make-up that day. Next to the beautiful little viper who stole my heart was me, sitting there, staring ather.MyRose. “Look at you here." I turned back toward the door and Dean yanked me back. "Uh-uh, don’t try to walk away. Take the phone and fucking look.” I snatched the phone from him as my pulse thrummed erratically. “The way you’re looking at her there wasn’t only in that photo.”

I scoffed, glancing down at the phone. “So you got a photo of me wanting to get my dick wet. What else is new?”

“Is that where your heart fell to?” He nudged into me, and the urge to punch him came rushing back. “I think I kicked your leg to get you to stop staring at her several times, but I don’t think you noticed or cared.” He grinned as he took the phone from me and pocketed it. “Tell me that’s not worth holding onto. Thatfeeling.”

I made a show of wiping my hand roughly along my pants like his phone somehow dirtied me. “Worthhas nothing to do with it,” I spat as I moved for the handle of the door again. My father heard her name from her own lips. It would only be a matter of time before he connected the dotsifhe felt so inclined to track her down.

Dean jerked me back by my elbow, and I had to stop the way my arm was telling me to hurl my fist into his face again. I didn’t want to hear anything else about her. I just needed to forget and move past it. Pasther.That was the only way she’d have a normal, long, potentially happy, and fulfilling life—staying away from me.

Far-the-fuck away from me.

“Fucking hell, Briggs. Listen to me. You’ve only got this one life, and I know he—” He cut himself off as he tossed his head back toward the room we’d just come from. “I know he made you feel worthless, like you don’t deserve to have your own life. That you don’t deserve to know what life can be like once you find a meaning to stay in it.”

“Youare the reason I’m in this mess.” I yanked my elbow from his hold. “I didn’tneedanyone before—” I covered my face with my hands and slid them down my throat. Just thinking about her this much was making everything constrict—my breathing, my chest, my heart. It allhurtso damn much. I sighed and droppedmy hands. “It’s over, Dean. She’s better off without me, and now she’s fully aware of that. Father made sure to fuck that all up, and if she’s gotten past what he said…well, then it’s what I didn’t say.” I couldn’t place all the blame on him. No, I was just as much at fault. She didn’t even get a good glimpse into everything real and true—our interwoven pasts, the things she couldn’t recall from her trauma, and the fact that I had done exactly as Dean suggested and was now tracking her every move without having to tail her.

Yeah, she was going to be fucking pissed about that last part if or when she found out because that wasn’t going to stop.

Dean shook his head. “No, youlethim mess it all up for you. He would have nothing to do with your life if you didn’t want him to.” If Dean only knew the extent to which that was wrong beyond the company. I’d been reckless in bringing her to my house, and if my father wasn’t so focused on whatever pussy he was getting overseas, I was certain he’d be looking into Rose more.

I let loose a laugh through my cracked chest as I rolled my head back, fixing my gaze on the ceiling. “If only it was that easy to leave this life. You, of all people, should know I can’t do that.”

Dean crossed his arms, looking me over. “I know there’s a gun tucked into your waistband more often than not. I know you can fight, and not just because your father tells you to. I saw what you did to that kid in town. I’m assuming that was for her?” I couldn’t hide my smirk at that, and he snickered. “You’re bigger than your dad, clearly have more balls than him, and now youhavesomeone.” I opened my mouth to interrupt him, but he held up his hand and shook his head. “I’m not fucking finished. You have money, evenwithout being in this company. Sure, he made you feel like you’d have nothing if you didn’t stay and learn the ropes of what we do, and you ate that shit up beyond these four walls, making it your personality. But what we do in here isn’t the company, Briggs. That’s him. You can fight it.” He pointed to his head and tapped on it. “Use that head of yours and find a way to alienate yourself from all of this. Get out. Make a life for yourself. And if you love that girl—”

“What do I know about love?” I rolled my head to my shoulder, cocking my head. “Like I said, she’s gone. It doesn’t matter what I do.”

Dean raked his hand through his hair, his frustration with me growing as he shook his head and smacked his teeth. “Alright, Briggs. If you want this life, then stay. But if you don’t, maybe start leaning on the right people and pull yourself from the hell you live.” He walked by me, pushing the door open as I stood frozen on the spot. His phone rang, and as he answered, he turned to me and asked, “What is that phrase again? The one I told you to get a tattoo of next time you get more ink? Carpe damn?”

“It’s carpediem, you fucker.”

He pointed a finger gun at me. “That’sthe one. Go carpe diem that motherfucker.”

Chapter 27

Rose

“Rule your mind or it will rule you.” ? Horace

Two more days passed—two more agonizingly long days where all my thoughts gravitated back to Briggs. The one positive step I took was towards moving out—signing the rental papers for the house my grandfather found—but it couldn’t distract me fully. Reminders of him were everywhere—in my garage, in the shower,in my bedroom, where I kept his jackets whenever I wasn’t actively wearing one. To make matters worse, my grandmother loved to make the house smell like citrus during the wintertime. Of all the things she could choose, she chose the one thing that reminded me of who I longed for the most.

The one smell that was making my senses go mad.

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