Page 53 of Custodian

He knew he gave Darius a hard time but it was all for show these days. It hadn’t always been that way, of course. In the beginning, Axel had clashed with Darius more than anyone else in the household. Axel had always been a happy-go-lucky guy. He liked to have fun and relax. He was never one to follow the rules, especially rules he considered stupid. And Darius had been nothing but a pathological rule-follower. Pushing the very staid and strict Sir Darius had been an easy outlet for Axel when he had first moved into the camp. Luckily, over the years their opposing personalities had morphed into a comfortable working relationship. And Axel was now proud to say, a solid friendship. He had the lovely Lady Diana to thank for some of that – getting laid really did help one to relax.

Not that he would know, he thought, brooding into his own drink now. He hadn’t had sex in years. Yeah, he talked a good game and he flirted with just about everything that moved. But he wasn’t a user and he wasn’t a player and given he had no desire whatsoever to be in a relationship of any kind, it meant his options were pretty much zip. He now had a very intimate relationship with Mrs Palmer and her five daughters. Sad but true. Before his psyche plunged into places he wasn’t willing to go, he forced his attention where it belonged; on Darius’s sac.

“Darius?” Axel inquired, softly.

“Hmm?” Darius thumbed through his cards.

“Say it. Saysac.” Axel whispered.

Darius huffed, “You are unbelievable, you know that? After all my lectures about manners all these years, you still haven’t learned yet, have you?” Darius groused, and Axel flinched internally.

Hadn’t he just said that he and Darius were more playful than aggressive in their banter? Perhaps he had been mistaken. But then Sir Darius opened that drunk pie-hole of his once more;

“You forgot to say please.” Darius waggled his pointer finger, “Please,Darius, say sac again.”

Axel chuckled along with everybody else.Oh yeah, what I wouldn’t give to be inside Darius’s head when he was under the influence of alcohol,Axel wished silently. Out loud he said; “You are absolutely right. I apologise for being rude.Pleasesay sac again.”

Darius sighed, bouncing his head from side to side as he sang; “Sac, sac, sac, sac. Annnnd … sac. Satisfied?”

Axel eyed his buddy and shook his head, “To be honest, I’m not sure what I am. This shit just turned creepy. So, moving on. You man-scape so Diana won’t get sac-rash you say. Care to tell us all what sac-rash is?”

Darius looked around, seeing all the curious faces, “What? None of you know what sac-rash is?”

Kai raised his hand, “I do.”

“Nobody asked you, pretty boy!” Darius snarled in the triplet’s direction.

Luckily, Kai, as well as Kellan, Kane, and their very protective father merely laughed.

Darius shook his head as if the whole table had failed him. “You know, when your lady friend – or man friend,” he added, tilting his head toward Caspian and Leo, “scratches up their face after showing some very appreciated attention to the boys down there. It’s only considerate to wax that shit off, man,” Darius added, eye-balling Axel sternly.

Axel opened and closed his mouth a few times, “I got nothin’,” he finally said, causing the entire room to laugh. After a few more good-natured jibes, and Darius insisting he was winning because he only had one card left, Ivy surprised Axel by joining in the conversation;

“Lark does it too,” she offered.

The man in question gasped, “Ivy!”

“What?” Ivy shrugged, looking far from sinister in an everyday outfit of jeans and a silky singlet. “They are remarkably hair-free.”

“I’ll have you know that my balls areau naturale!” Lark looked offended. “Not all of us are born hairy you know. Nor do all of us take hot wax to said hair.”

“Could never understand that myself,” Dave grunted, drawing everyone’s attention.

That much was obvious, Axel thought. The guy gavehairya whole new meaning. He was covered in it from his shoulders to his hands and that mono-brow? Max had confessed to him that she had legitimate concerns it was actually a cognizant being. Axel had to admit, the same fear had crossed his mind.

“Are you saying you have never thought of taking a lawn mower to that body of yours? Maybe even a weed-whacker?” Max inquired of their very generous host.

“Max!” Ryker yelled.

“What? Like you all weren’t thinking it,” Max muttered, subsiding in a pout for about two seconds before Axel saw her eyeing Ryker critically. She opened her mouth only to have her man raise a finger;

“Don’t even.”

“But –” she began.

“Nope. There’s no way, woman. My balls are staying hairy and manly. Accept it. Live it. Love it.” Ryker’s words were final.

“Max?” Axel asked, touching her arm. His liege had gone deathly still.

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