Page 64 of Custodian

Ryker tried to open his mouth. He tried to reply, he really did. But nothing came out. Maybe his voice-box had been hollowed out the same as his heart.

“Ryker,” Mordecai’s voice was firm. “It’s a bit early but not so much that the doctor is worried. She’s sure it will be safe for Cali to have the baby here. But Cali’s scared. She’s asking for you.”

Ryker shook his head. He barely saw Mordecai move, the man was so fast. He gripped Ryker’s head hard between his palms. He was expecting the warden to pump some of his element into him, or perhaps suck some of it out. But he didn’t. He simply forced Ryker’s gaze up to his;

“It’s time. I know you don’t want to. I know it hurts. But it’s time to return to the land of the living,” Mordecai whispered.

“I can’t.” The two words sounded garbled but Mordecai had no trouble understanding him.

“You can. You have to,” came the firm response.

“Won’t leave her.” He knew he wasn’t forming whole sentences but that didn’t seem to bother Mordecai. The man was apparently able to decipher broken-man speak.

“That’s not what this is. You deciding to breathe again? To live again? It’s not the same as leaving Max behind. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s you trying to find her.”

Ryker nodded his head, even though it felt incredibly heavy and hard to hold up.

Mordecai smacked his palms together, “Now, what do you say you take a shower and wash the month of grime off your body? Maybe put on some pants, huh? Then get your butt into your sister’s room and hold her hand as she pushes out your nephew.”

Ryker allowed the older man to yank him to his feet and push him to the shower. Mordecai then turned on the water hot enough to boil Ryker’s balls and shoved him inside. Ryker remained stiff and unmoving for a few minutes before the hot water and steam worked its magic. Then he simply slid bonelessly to the tiled floor. He stayed like that until the water began to cool and he was forced to move or risk becoming a shrivelled prune. He made a half-arsed attempt to mop some of the water from his body with a towel, only to be startled like hell when he looked in the mirror.

“Fuck!” he shouted.

“What? What is it?” Mordecai swiftly appeared next to him.

“I look like shit,” Ryker admitted, not recognising the person staring back at him.

Mordecai snorted, “Yeah, you look like shit. Not even warmed up shit. But like, old, dried out, caked on, shit that’s been left to rot in the bowels of some foul beast’s intestines.”

“Geez, man. Don’t hold back. Tell me how you really feel.”

A small chuckle left Mordecai’s lips and Ryker leaned forward, fingering the new, brutal scar on his face. For some reason, the return of the scar didn’t bother him. In fact, it made him feel closer to Max for some stupid reason. Knowing his ugly, shitty appearance wasn’t going to magically get better just by staring at it, he made his way into his room and looked around it hopelessly for a few minutes.What was he supposed to be doing again?

Fabric hit his face and he caught it instinctively. Holding up the black and white material, he realised they were a ratty pair of old track pants and a tee shirt.

“Put that shit on, will you? I don’t want to keep seeing the junk you’re sporting,” Mordecai griped, turning away and staring out the window.

Ryker grunted, stepping sluggishly into the clothes. He hadn’t even noticed he had been standing there stark naked.

“She knew.”

Ryker glanced over at Mordecai as he yanked on the white tee, “What?”

“Max. She knew this was going to happen. The day before Emmanuel – we talked. She made me promise I wouldn’t leave – that I would stay for as long as it took. I knew something bad must have been on the horizon. But a small part of me hoped she asked me to stay so we could get to know each other. Turns out, it was for you. For all of you.”

Well, what do you know? Turns out Ryker could feel shittier. Max had told him about her talk with her father, and then she had cried. But Ryker knew they had been happy tears – tears of hope. She had wanted a chance at the relationship which had been denied to them for so long. Walking over to his father-in-law, he placed a comforting hand on the man’s shoulder. He had to reach up a little, which was novel. Not many people were taller than him.

“Mordecai. She trusted you with her greatest possessions – her family. If that doesn’t prove she trusts you – that shelovesyou – I don’t know what does.”

Mordecai turned around, searching Ry’s gaze for a moment before clearing his throat and nodding his head. “Thank you,” he murmured.

Ryker shook his head, “No. Thankyou. Thank you for making Max.”

THIRTY-TWO

Mordecai entered the room first and Ryker took a few seconds to compose himself. Seeing his Order was going to be hard. He didn’t have anything to offer them yet – had nothing left to give. He was still a shell of a man. But he was now a walking, talking one, and he figured it was a start.

“Wow. No new bruises today? Was he passed-out or something?” The voice belonged to Diana.

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