Page 14 of Reluctant Rebel

“You have a psycho brother to catch. You don’t need the distraction of a mate,” Jinx continued. She blinked quickly whenmoisture flooded her eyes. She understood. She truly did. But she still had to fight shockingly hard to maintain her composure.

Mikhail grimaced. “It sounds terrible when you put it like that, but yes. You would be a distraction I can’t afford.” He walked toward her with measured steps. “Because I can already tell that you would consume me, Jinx. You are beautiful, strong, and intelligent. I’m betting you would be perfect for me.”

His last words were almost a whisper as if he was afraid of saying them too loudly. But Jinx heard them, and they made her ache. “I understand.”

“You do?” he asked, holding his breath.

“I do,” she said truthfully.

His breath left him in a rush, and his broad shoulders slumped. He covered his face with his hands, causing his next words to come out muffled. “I never expected you to understand,” he said, his voice breaking with emotion. “But I'm so grateful that you do.”

Jinx could hear the pain and vulnerability in his words. She wanted to take it away, to make everything right again. But she couldn’t even deal with her own pain. Besides, she had no right to take on the pain of someone else. They stood in silence for a moment, and she was grateful. Her thoughts were a chaotic jumble inside her head. So much angst. And for what? She didn’t want a mate either. The reminder made her laugh. It came out a little hysterical, but she felt better once she got a hold of herself.

Wiping her eyes, she grinned at Mikhail. “Do you want to know what’s so funny?”

His gaping mouth closed with a snap, and he eyed her warily. “I’m not sure.”

Her lips twitched again. The poor guy looked scared. “I don’t even want a mate.”

Mikhail’s eyes immediately narrowed, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “I beg your pardon?”

“It’s the truth. Okay, maybe my tiger wants a mate. And my heart seems to think it’s a good idea, too.” She paused, thinking for a moment before adding, “Not to mention my hormones.” Mikhail gasped and began to choke. “Oops,” Jinx said. “Don’t die, will you? I’d hate to have to explain all this to Sabre.”

Mikhail coughed into his hand for a moment before struggling to take in some air. His eyes were watering when they met hers. “I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting you to say, uh …”

“That I’m horny for you?” Jinx completed his sentence. He began to make a gurgling sound. She smiled, feeling much steadier. “I’m here for the honesty, remember? And my lusting after you isn’t exactly breaking news. But the point is, I can’t be anyone’s mate either. It’s not something I’ve ever wanted. That’s why I did a runner before. I wanted to pretend the whole thing never happened.”

“You … don’t … want … me?” Mikhail asked slowly.

“I really don’t,” she was quick to reply.And if I keep telling myself that, one day, every part of me might just believe it.

“Huh,” Mikhail grunted.

“What?” she asked, watching him closely. He suddenly looked a little pale.

“I feel horrible,” he admitted. “I’m really offended. My feelings are hurt. My damn hearthurts,” he said, rubbing his chest in circular motions. “I feel like I want to cry like a baby and yell at you at the same time.” His voice cracked, betraying the pain he was feeling.

“I’m—”

Mikhail held up a hand, interrupting her. “Don’t say you’re sorry. I just did the same thing to you. I didn’t know it would feel like this. It sucks.”

“It really does,” she agreed.

“Why don’t you want me?” he questioned with a pout.

Jinx bit her lip. The man was adorable when he was disgruntled. She was hesitant to reveal her reasons. They were too deeply entangled with her trauma. But he deserved answers. “Finding a fated mate is a miracle. But one I never believed would be reserved for me. And I was okay with that. My past has shaped me the same way that yours has shaped you. To me, being claimed by another feels like shackles. I won’t be a slave again. That includes being a slave to fate.”

“I would never make you do anything you didn’t want to do,” Mikhail vowed, his voice low and intense.

Jinx simply nodded, not willing to argue. “Luckily, we’re both on the same page when it comes to being mated, so we don’t need to test that theory.”

“Your past …” he began.

“Is not up for discussion,” Jinx cut him off. “I know Sabre has told you the bare bones of it. That’s more than enough.”

“Understood,” he murmured, not pushing further.

After a silence that was no longer awkward but definitely still tense, Jinx cleared her throat. “So, we agree. No mating.”

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