Page 83 of Reluctant Rebel

“Hold up.” Brax rolled his head to look at Mikhail with a frown. “Is that why you didn’t accept Jinx as your mate? Because you’re King?”

Mikhail threw his hands up. “Of course it is! Do you think I would have turned down that incredible woman for any reason other than the duty that has been burned into my bones?”

“That doesn’t make sense, Mikhail. Father had Mother. Our grandparents had each other. I mean, it’s kind of how our line works. Marriage and babies.”

“It’s not the same thing,” Mikhail muttered. He hadn’t lied to Jinx or the others about his reasons for denying a bond with Jinx. The timing sucked, he had shit to deal with, plus duty seeping from his pores. But there was another reason he hadn’t disclosed.

“Why isn’t it?” Brax demanded. “Because it’s you?” Mikhail just shook his head. “I’m serious, bro. Spell it out for me.”

Mikhail scrubbed his face with his hands before looking at Brax. “Because none of them were mates. Not true mates, biological mates, fated mates—whatever you want to call it. I’m not minimising the love our ancestors shared, don’t get me wrong. But the mate bond isn’t the same as a marriage.”

Mikhail closed his eyes, remembering the feel of Jinx’s soft, warm body yielding beneath his own, giving him more pleasure in one moment than he’d ever experienced in his life. “If I was to accept Jinx as my one true mate—something I want more than my next breath—she would become my world, Brax. Our hearts would beat as one. That’s what happens in shifter matings,” Mikhail reminded him. “Their hearts beat in unison, and they feel each other’s pain and pleasure. That simply can’t happen. Jinx cannot be more important than the people.”

Saying it out loud brought with it a sense of impending doom. He’d told Jinx they would explore their relationship once it was safe to do so. But in his heart, he knew it wouldneverbe safe. He said as much to Brax.

“But …” Brax glanced around, looking a little lost. Mikhail knew just how he felt. “Mikhail, you deserve to be happy.”

“Deserve?” Mikhail nodded his head in agreement. “Sure, I do. But am Ientitledto be happy? Not so much. I am entitled torule. And that’s what I will do.”

“I can see where you’re coming from,” Brax said slowly as if choosing his words carefully. “And I will honour your decision, whatever it may be. But if that’s how you truly feel, then why the hell did you sleep with her?”

Mikhail’s head whipped to Brax so fast that his neck cracked. “What?”

Brax rolled his eyes, giving Mikhail a playful shove. “Come on, man. I know I was blind yesterday with Z, but I know what post-coital euphoria looks like. And so does Sabre.”

Mikhail blanched. “Sabre knows too?” He cursed when Brax nodded. “It’s not like I planned to. It just … happened,” he finished lamely.

The attraction had been there with Jinx from the beginning, but the intimacy was increasing with every conversation. And after she’d crumpled from the pain of her past, sharing his body with hers felt like a natural progression. He wasn’t about to share that, though. He’d yet to tell Brax about the collar but knew Jinx was telling the others right now. It’s why he’d dismissed Sabre earlier.

Brax side-eyed him. “Do you expect me to believe you tripped over with your dick out, and it landed inside Jinx?”

“What the fuck?! Abraxis!” Mikhail shouted, jumping to his feet.

Brax bit his lip, his amusement plain to see. “Sorry. That was rather crude. No disrespect to Jinx.”

Mikhail crossed his arms over his chest, towering over Brax. “But disrespect to me?” He snorted. “Nice.”

Brax groaned. “Damn, you’re touchy at the moment—no disrespect to you either. In fact, after today, you have my unconditional respect for all eternity. I just hope you know whatyou’re doing. If you’ve decided you can’t ever be mated, don’t you think sleeping together will make things more difficult? More painful?”

Mikhail’s ire deflated. “Yes. It probably will. We did discuss it first, you know. We didn’t rush in irresponsibly. We both agreed to be intimate without bonding.” He rubbed his chest where he swore his heart was hurting. “I figured it was better than nothing. But now I know I was wrong. It’s going to make things a hundred times worse.”

Because now I know what her sweet body feels like wrapped around mine,he thought silently.

“Maybe …” Brax began, but Mikhail glared at him. Brax sighed and dragged himself to his feet before yanking Mikhail into a hug. “Right. Not my place. But know that I’m sorry.”

“Thanks,” Mikhail said, his voice muffled thanks to Brax’s giant chest. “I am, too.”

Brax slapped Mikhail’s back one last time before stepping back. “What about Sabre? If you don’t want to live with a pissy, vengeful guardian angel for the rest of your life, I suggest you reveal your true motives for rejecting Jinx. Right now, she thinks you’re being stubborn and that your excuses are flimsy and pathetic. She doesn’t know it’s all deep and meaningful.”

“You could be right,” Mikhail acknowledged. He hesitated a moment before saying, “I’m not sure it will matter. There’s still a lot of unspoken pain between Sabre and me, just like how we were an hour ago. We’re living and laughing; the gods know we love one another. But we’re just not … right.”

“So, make it right,” Brax urged.

The thought of confronting Sabre the way he’d done with Brax gave him anxiety. But he knew his brother was right. “I’ll make it a priority,” he swore before moving on. “Speaking of priorities, we have another one. It concerns Jinx …”

34

“You’re grounded,” Gage declared, sweeping Jinx into his arms.

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