Page 108 of My Best Bet

He looked so worried that I had to tell him everything.

I told him about Andy, the pills, the shakes, the stupid dinner I made, the way I called her parents, I didn’t leave anything out. Part of me needed to tell him so he’d know not to blame himself, but honestly, I needed to say it all aloud for myself. I needed to recount it, dissect it, try to understand where everything went wrong.

“Shit, dude. I didn’t know,” he said when I finally finished. His mouth twisted like he was sucking on something sour. “I’d like a few minutes with that Andy guy.”

Blowing out a breath, I nodded. “Yeah, get in line.”

“So…” his eyes darted to mine, “what are you going to do?”

Balancing my elbows on my knees, I hung my head.

What could I do? She clearly wanted to be alone– her hysterical cries were burned into my brain, playing over and over again like it was stuck on some kind of loop.

I couldn’t leave to go see her right now because she didn’t even want that. So I guess I’d continue working for our dreams and wait for her to call me. What other choice did I have?

32.Mer - Practice Ice – 10 years ago

After completing my usual rituals before taking the ice– pacing the length of the rink and then doing a couple off-ice jumps to get my muscles moving– I laced up my skates for our last practice session before the competition started tomorrow.

The men’s short programs were just getting started in the stadium, so most of the press and spectators were watching that ice.

Andy and I ran through our individual warm-ups first– both throwing waltz jumps and moving up through the jumps at our own pace. About five minutes in, Iryna and Vlad made a wrap-it-up motion, calling us to the boards.

“Alright, let’s move through the first leg of the program, ya?” Vlad told us.

Iryan, who was bundled up in her Team USA jacket, gave us a rigid nod.

Without talking, Andy and I grasped hands and stroked away from them. We moved into back crossovers, rounding the boards that read US FIGURE SKATING NATIONALS 2014.

I moved into Andy, his hands grasped my waist, and then I was airborne, moving through the lift.

I floated above his shoulders, through the cold air, giving me a perfect view of the mostly empty rink.

But right as we were supposed to move into our last position, something went wrong. Horribly wrong.

One second, I was floating above the rest of the world.

The next second, panic ricocheted through my body as I flew straight at the ice with no way of saving myself.

My first thought when I opened my eyes and stared up at the old metal rafters was that I was lucky. That could’ve ended a lot worse. My elbow got a bit banged up, but other than that, I was somehow okay.

“Mer? You good? Sorry, my blade! My blade got caught by an edge. Mer?” Andy’s voice sounded like it was coming from underwater and my vision was graying out in the corners.

I went to move, and that’s when the pain slammed into me, stealing my breath.

Just sitting up made a scream rip from my throat.

And then I saw it.

My knee. My knee was…

Panic gripped my chest and my breathing went ragged.

This was a nightmare. I was just… I was just sleeping. This didn’t just happen. No.

“You’re fine,” Andy said forcefully, crouching near me, his ice cold blue eyes wide as saucers. “Just take a breather. We can still do this. Breathe and get up. C’mon, Mer.”

Was he insane? Washein shock?My entire body trembled from the pain, the shock, the fear. Because my knee was… it was mangled.

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