Page 12 of With Wine Comes War

I shook it off and said, “Thank you Mrs. Santoro…”

She politely encouraged me to use her first name as she took my hands in hers. “Lucia, please.”

“Lucia,” I repeated and smiled warmly in return. “I’ve been trying to stay busy.”

That’s the only way I could really describe it, and it was hard to hang on to the smile since pretending isn’t really something I’m good at. I think she understood and nodded her sympathy, then released my hands and moved closer to her husband.

Alessandro Santoro’s voice was deep, and had an almost threatening tone to his accent, but it never came across that way when he was speaking to me or Grant. “We wanted to let you know that Grant and your friend Mr. King got all the zoning issues fixed and we decided to put a bid on the property that looks closest to home.”

Mr. King, huh?I remember them telling me they met him at the hospital, but I didn’t realize they had gotten to know each other. The property he was referring to resembled an Italian villa on ten acres of land. It was impressive and perfect for a winery. I had a feeling thatwas the one they were going to choose but when the zoning got pulled. I thought it was a lost endeavor at that point.

“That’s wonderful. I can imagine it with rows and rows of grapes and endless wine tastings.” This was exhausting– pretending to be excited, although it was probably going to end up being my new favorite hangout.

They both smiled and said, “Bellissimo! Grazi.” I couldn’t handle polite conversation anymore, so I forced a smile, winked at Grant then said goodbye to everyone. I almost forgot Roman knew about the zoning on those houses. I wondered how he got it fixed but it no longer matters. Now I need to get the hell out of here.

I had nothing else going on today, so I decided to decompress and go for a walk downtown. I loved watching the boats float along the river. It looked like they were moving in slow motion. It’s not quiet like Lookout Park, so I’ll have to put my earbuds in and play music to drown out the unwanted noise, but it will do.

I made my way down the river walk and saw the swings Roman and I were going to use on the day we got caught in the rain. Those memories warmed me as much as this day with its clear skies. I sat down, closed my eyes and let the breeze from swinging take me away. The breeze was gentle and comforting. I could hear the whooshing of the wind past my ears and the squeaking of the chains holding the swing as I swung back and forth.

Oh, wow, okay, maybe that wasn’t the best idea. I felt like I was having an out of body experience– dizzying and floaty.My mind went to the plane ride to Florida, when Roman went on my family vacation with me. Being tied up and blindfolded while he just gently touched my feet, hands and neck was an experience I’ve never had before and probably never will again. That’s when I was introduced to the true meaning of love– tied to a chair a mile high on a plane.I caught myself laughing out loud and I jerked my head from side to side making sure no one was listening. Kind of ironic to think Roman taught me love and I broke his heart because I’m hallucinating about him assaulting me. There’s no way the Roman King I know could’ve ever done something so horrible.Why won’t my mind let it go?

It’s partly his fault for introducing me to all this empathic mumbo jumbo. Maybe that has something to do with it. He said he could feel what I was feeling during that little game of trust, and I guess he didn’t like it. I know he told me he loved me but, again, were those his feelings or mine? I wished he had never told me about this empathic stuff. Now I have no idea what feelings are real or even what’s real in my head.

Thank God I have all these “exercise” classes to take. Feeling physical energy is something I can relate to. It’s black and white. Maybe a little painful but I know it’s real and I know it’s mine. The head chatter is what I can’t handle, but the wine can handle it and that’s all I need right now. I stopped the swing with my feet and hung my head to clear it then got up and dragged myself home.

I made dinner, texted with the girls a bit then made plans to hang out with Shay and the boys this weekend. Maybe doing things I used to do will help set me straight.

I grabbed a glass of wine and turned on some music. This was kind of nice– getting back to talking and hanging out with my friends. I was definitely going to check on Ella and Darius tomorrow too. I felt bad walking away from them after I built up so much trust to get them to let me help them. When I found out their neighborhood was being torn down so greedy bastards could build condos and shopping centers, I made it my mission to make sure Ella and her grandchildren would be taken care of. I know Grant is doing that, but he already had his own stuff going on when I dumped all my crap on him. I tossed myphone to the table and leaned my head back on the sofa, letting my eyes flutter closed. I listened to the music and tried letting it overpower the onslaught of my to do list coming from every angle and maybe think of only the good things Roman and I shared.

After a few songs I finished my first glass of wine then refilled it and made myself comfortable on the sofa again. I pulled the velvet blanket off the back and laid it over my legs. Since I was feeling so relaxed, I thought it couldn’t hurt to see if there were any emails I might want to respond to. They’ve mostly been work related or the MMA studio letting me know about new classes coming up. Lots of junk in there that I needed to delete. I reached over and picked up my phone, swiping it open. I wasn’t, however, prepared for any emails from King Construction. The subject just said, “HI.” Then I quickly remembered I was meeting Amelia for lunch tomorrow and thought, it must just be a reminder.

Shoot, I should’ve looked closely at the sender. I would've noticed it was from Roman and not Amelia. I wished I hadn’t opened it–I don’t know if I’m ready for this yet. I bit my lip trying to decide what to do about this. My nerves were pinging all over my body. I tapped my fingers next to the delete button, but I couldn’t seem to bring myself to push it. I should’ve just deleted it and gone back to relaxing but, damn that man and these memories. It wasn’t a very long message.

From: Roman

To: Alex

Subject: HI

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I just wanted to let you know that Detective Lewis stopped in to see me. I really hope you’re doing well Alex.

Roman

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Some days I hoped he would plead out so this whole thing will just go away. Other days I wanted to make sure he got the maximum sentence and then some. For now, I’m wondering if I should respond to this email. I took a big gulp of wine before making that decision.

A little hello couldn’t hurt, it might even help, I finally decided. So, I emailed back… “HELLO.”. Almost immediately there was a response.

From: ROMAN

To: ALEX

Subject: HELLO

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