Page 35 of With Wine Comes War

“Alex, look I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be yelling and if this is what you need to do then fine, but can we please talk about this? Cutting me out of your life isn’t going to change anything you’re dealing with.”

This was starting to get heated in more ways than one. It’s probably the alcohol mixed with these emotions. I seemed to be feeding off his irritation.Not good.

Thank God for the waitress interrupting– bringing our food. I chose not to answer. I was starving so we ate our food in silence because I couldn’t take any more of this conversation. I ordered one more drink, which was decidedly a bad idea. He ordered water while staring rightinto my soul.

Looks like I’m making bad decisions tonight.

***

ROMAN

“So, is that it? Is there no hope, no future for us?” I asked sitting back again in my chair. I finished the rest of my beer then set the empty bottle firmly on the table opting for water after this since she seemed to be self-medicating now.

“Roman, I don’t know…” she was calmer after the food and took a normal sip of her drink without guzzling it. “I can only tell you where I’m at this moment. I’m just not capable of an ‘us’. I’m not good at foreseeing the future so I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. Nothing’s changed about the way I feel. The confusion is still so prominent.” She put her hands over her face and shook her head.

I hurried the server over to pay the bill.

“I’m ready to leave, let’s go.”

She drank the last bit of her drink, and I grabbed her hand automatically, glancing at her to see if she was bothered by that but she didn’t pull away as I led her to the car. She was a little unsteady on her feet probably from the copious amounts of vodka she consumed.

“Your place or mine?” I asked. “I’m staying with you tonight regardless of who’s house we go to. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment but you’re drunk and I’m not leaving you alone tonight.”

“This is the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. We’re not together anymore. Y-y-you sound c-c-crazy, like a s-s-stalker.” She threw her hands in the air and hit her knuckles on the roof.

“Ouch,”she laughed.

Ha, damn I am a stalker. That’s literally what she’s reduced me to.

If people could see the headlines now:

“HEAD OF KING CONSTRUCTION PATHETICALLY STALKS GIRL WHO CONTINUALLY TELLS HIM TO FUCK OFF!!!”

“You haven’t told me who’s place we’re going to yet. If you don’t hurry, I’m going to pick one myself.” I waited for the answer she seemed to be seriously contemplating.

“Fine, your place.” Thank God I thought as her hands fell to her thighs. I smiled because I missed her dramatics. I needed to have a little control over this situation and she seemed pretty out of control right now and I feel like it’s partially my fault.

“Alex, my feelings for you haven’t changed either, I still love you and they’ll feel like this tomorrow and the next day and every day after that.” I sincerely stated gently holding her face so she could see I meant it, hoping that would spark some memory and maybe she’d say it back.

“And I thought I had issues.” She grumbled, rolling her eyes. I didn’t have any issues until I met her, honestly.

I walked us to the elevator and pushed the button. Something in the air shifted between us. Some kind of electricity. I was ready for her to feel it too but when the doors opened, she pushed me inside and pinned me up against the glass wall.Damn she’s strong and aggressive.I, somehow, don’t think this is aimed at me and if it is I really don’t want to be on the receiving end of it.

I put my hands up trying to get some distance, letting her know I wasn’t a threat. “Alex, I need to press the elevator buttons.” She stepped back as the look on her face shifted from one of anger to one of confusion like in the restaurant. I punched in the code then cautiously stood next to her. I don’t know what kind of fighting she’s been doing,and I don’t really want her testing it out on me. Not sure what just happened there but it’s not helping with the worry I feel for her.

When the elevator doors opened, I stepped out of the way directing her in with my arm outstretched. She slowly walked in and stood with her arms wrapped around her.

“Would you like some water?” I walked to the refrigerator and took two bottles of water out, setting them on the counter.

“No, I think I just want to go to sleep.” Despite her uneasiness this is the first time in the past three weeks I’ve felt at ease knowing she’s safe with me.

“I’ll take you to the guest room. There’s an extra toothbrush in the guest bath. There are towels if you’d like to shower as well.” I guided her down the hall and showed her to the guest room.

“Thank you.” She said as I turned quickly before I made any more demands of her tonight, shutting the door behind me on my way out.

I stood next to the door to listen for just a moment noticing the light go out under the door. I took a deep breath, pushing myself from the wall and walked back out to the living room to think about what I’ve done tonight. This may not have been a good idea after all. I mean what kind of condition is she going to be in when she wakes up tomorrow in a strange place.

I made a bourbon and sat on my favorite black oversized chair with my head leaned back. My arms resting easily on the arms of the chair while holding my drink in one hand. The silence was peaceful, leaving me space to ruminate over the consequences. I couldn’t bring myself to take her home and leave her there alone in her condition. But how do I deal with this if she loses it on me in the morning?

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