Page 36 of With Wine Comes War

Chapter 9

ALEX

Oh my God what kind of dream is this? Pain and pleasure? Making love to Roman in my dreams is the best but why does my body hurt so fucking bad– and my head? Dreams aren’t supposed to be painful, are they?

I’m trying to focus on the pleasure, and I moan out loud.

“Goodmorning.”

Roman’s deep sexy voice is humming in my dream so vividly that it’s like I can hear it. This dream seems so real and I can feel hands resting over my breasts…wait, I can really feel hands on my breasts. My eyes pop open and veer south to find there are strong muscular arms wrapped around me. I squeak and want to freak out and push him away. My anxiety is high, and I can feel the soreness from what must’ve happened last night. I try to wiggle out of his hold, and he loosens his grip on me.

“Good morning.” He says again and the vibration of his voice is soothing and I swallow, closing my eyes inhaling deeply.I can handle this;I tell myself confidently.

“Good morning,” I mumble almost to myself. I’m pretty sure my fucking hair hurts. I fake a smile more for myself than him since he can’t see me. I realize we’re both naked and I’m on the verge of a total nervous breakdown until I open my eyes and look around wildly. It was just a dream. It was just a dream about Roman. No Tanner this time. It had to be a dream right? I’m alone and I’m still fully dressed, but where the hell am I exactly?

I got up and walked around the bed spotting my shoes next to my purse trying to remember what happened last night after we left the restaurant. Wait, I went to the restaurant with Roman last night and definitely over indulged. I was just trying to calm my nerves, not get wasted. I noticed the familiar black and white décor, discerning I must be in one of Roman’s guest rooms.

I wander into the bathroom to turn on the shower. I need to calm down. Maybe a shower will help. I didn’t have a dream about Tanner last night, that has to mean something. The only dream I had was one of Roman.That’s good, right?

“God, how did this happen?”

I freeze as I hear a knock on the bathroom door.

“Alex…” I hear Roman’s voice through the door.

I stay silent, maybe he’ll just leave.

“Honey, I brought you t-shirt and some sweatpants for you along with a bottle of water and something for a headache if you have one. The clothes are on the bed and the water and pills are on the table.” Then there was silence and I exhaled. I really need to talk to someone about this.

I put on the clothes he laid out and washed the Advil down with the bottle of water he left. I was swimming in his clothes, but they were comfortable and smelled like him. I hugged the shirt tight to me and tried to calm my nerves. I was starting to relax. I brushed my teeth and headed out to the living room to talk about what happened last night. Hopefully I can.

***

ROMAN

Breakfast sounds like a good idea– maybe that will help. I got out the ingredients to make pancakes.

She walked out with a sheepish grin on her face that I caught out of the corner of my eye. I watched her go over to the sofa and flop face down. I need to touch her and talk to her and make this right. I walked over and carefully sat next to her.

“What happened last night?” she groaned into the pillow.

“Nothing. You got drunk and I didn’t want to leave you alone.” I brushed my hair back from my face as I waited for her to feel comfortable talking to me.

“Really?” She said sitting up looking really confused now.

“Alex, do you really think I would take advantage of you in the state you were in?” She really doesn’t trust anyone does she?

“Roman, I still don’t know…”

“Still don’t know what Alex? Still don’t know if it was me or Tanner? Somehow, I don’t think that’s true anymore.” Am I fucking pushing her? Yes. Frustration is setting in and I know I should back off but I can’t. We have too much of a connection, too much love in our history, she has to see that.

She pushed herself up off the sofa and brushed past me as she made her way to the kitchen.

“What’s for breakfast?” She glanced at me quickly then bent over the marble kitchen counter island.

I sidled up behind her with both hands on either side of her and whispered in her ear, “Blueberry pancakes, Alex.” I made sure to breathe her name into her ear. I lightly brushed my lips against her neck and heard her gasp. That did things to me too. I inhaled deeply, squeezing my eyes closed, then quickly kissed her cheek as I moved around her to the stove where the food was.

“MMMM”. She hummed and I smiled, relieved that it had that effect and not a more violent one.

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