Page 50 of With Wine Comes War

I smiled and lightly chuckled to myself. “I’ve been asked that several times, but no, not at all. Bruce is teaching me how to use it as a sort of meditation.”

She exclaimed, “That’s wonderful.”

Not the reaction I was expecting. It helped to relax me, and I sat back on the sofa and kicked off my flip flops then crossed my feet underneath me.

“Really? I wanted to ask you if it would be a good idea to have him teach me that and talk to you. Just didn’t know if it would be counterproductive.”

“Talk to me about what Bruce is teaching you.” She was sitting back with her legs crossed and her hands clasped. She was waiting intently.

I explained how he was trying to get me to channel my emotions into moves and countermoves without directing them at a person, so when I go into the courtroom the questions and answers will relate to the moves and countermoves so I could tune Tannerout.

She smiled and admitted, “I like his style. I think you should focus on what he’s trying to teach you, and I’ll help you cope with the pain the best I can.”

“That sounds like a good plan.” Finally having a path for this should help me focus on the bigger goal– making sure Tanner gets what he deserves.

“Was that the first time this all really hit you?”

Distraction over.

“Yes. I had a feeling it would happen when I came to see you. I feel safe around you. But today more happened. He got out on bail and now I feel like the prisoner.”

“Why do you feel that way?” She sat up more on the edge of the sofa now. I picked my head up and let out a breath as I stared at the ceiling.

“Because I’m the one who has to stay in a secure place. There’s a protective order against him. He can’t come within 500 feet of me and now I’m constantly going to be looking over my shoulder. My friends and coworkers got dragged into it and Roman was seen on camera breaking the guy’s nose. Tanner’s claiming I assaulted him first.” So much overwhelming information, I practically collapsed just thinking about all of it.

She smirked a little, “Is anyone testifying for you against their will?”

I get it people want to help, but I’m so mad there’s a need. “No, in fact, they seem excited to help.”

“I doubt anything major will happen to Roman for what he did. It’s not like he’ll lose his job. He may have to pay a fine, if that. Please don’t worry about him. I know he’s more than willing to testify for you and I already told you we can handle the Ellington situation.”

What is the Ellington situation, really, that needs to be handled? I feel like there’s more to it.

I tried to protest, “But…” She cut me off.

“No buts…Now you have no responsibility for what these people are planning to do for you so that’s no longer an issue. Tell me what else about this case is bothering you?” I opened my mouth and closed it again because I had nothing except the plan that I was not sharing with her.

“You know he can’t hurt you in there. You can tell the court everything that happened to you and what you went through, and he can’t do a damn thing to stop you.” She was making me feel powerful by giving me back the power he took from me. I was feeling better already.

I relaxed my shoulders and decided, “That was amazing. How did you do that?”

She and her son have those damn superpowers.

She smiled. “Alex, I have a different perspective. It’s so consuming for you and personal. All these people you want to protect, but none of that responsibility lies with you. I know it’s hard because you care so much but let them help you now. Have you decided where your safe place is?”

I looked down and back up slowly. Why was I so embarrassed to admit staying with Roman was okay?

“With Roman. My whole family backed that decision and so did my friends.” It felt forced, like I was being ganged up on. Like everyone thought I needed protection and the only one that could do it was Roman, and I couldn’t take care of myself.

She smiled and said, “I agree. Are you feeling more comfortable around him?”

Not really but I don’t want to tell her that. He’s still her son.

“I think we’ve got a weird head game going but I don’t know, it's just hard for some reason. I don’t know if anyone told you about why I was staying away from him in the first place.”

She reached out and gently patted the back of my hand that was resting on my knee. “I heard something about you thinking it was Roman who attacked you. Is that right?” I nodded without making eye contact.

“How do you feel about that now?”

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