Page 52 of With Wine Comes War

“Skipping? Really?” He groaned in what sounded like actual pain.

“Yeah, you should try it.” Then I started to skip again, and Roman yanked me back and I stumbled, smacking my face right into his broad muscular chest.

“I don’t think so. Not in these shoes.” I quickly scanned his outfit, noticing he was still in his suit and dress shoes from work. He may have been in actual pain. I frowned remembering how he didn’t get to change because he was worried about me. I looked into his eyes hesitantly, wondering if we should forget about this adventure. He smiled and gave me an encouraging nod as he tugged on my hand and warmth spread through my arm and possibly all the way to my heart. Adventure it is, I thought as I focused on the bond we seemed to be rebuilding.

When we reached the river park it was so quiet. Only a few other people were out tonight. There seemed to be lights farther down by the bars, so we had the swings and the walkway all to ourselves. We glided in silence for a few minutes. It was so peaceful. Just what I needed after all that emotional release.

Roman wrapped his arm around me, “How’re you feeling?” he asked casually. I didn’t feel any anxiety or worry behind his question, and I leaned in breathing in his calm.

“Much lighter, actually.” That was just what I needed. I looked up into his warm brown eyes and smiled.

“I was worried I was witnessing a complete mental breakdown or something. I’ve never seen anything like that before.” His comment seemed laced with worry, but it could just be he was expressing how he felt at the time, so I pushed it aside and stayed in our little bubble.

“Well, me either. I guess it was a breakdown of sorts though. Not the kind that puts you in the loony bin but the kind that gives youroom to rebuild, maybe.”Rebuild my broken life, I thought as I stared out over the river. The moon light was glistening even on the murky water of the Ohio River.Silver lining, perhaps?

“So, and you don’t have to answer this, but do you think we can rebuild us?” he asked.

I can’t answer that right now. That’s part of the heavy stuff I can’t handle yet. I got lost in watching a boat drift past before I answered.

“One thing at a time, okay?” It was on my to do list for sure. He nodded and joined me looking out at the river. I wanted to enjoy the lightness and not get too heavy or into something I knew I was too tipsy to accurately convey. Plus, I was exhausted. I did feel better about him, though. I felt like he was at least separate from Tanner in my head now.

“The first thing I need to focus on is getting back to the penthouse without falling asleep.” It came out so fast I almost surprised myself. He laughed and that made me happy.

“I can just carry you home.”

Home.My thoughts went immediately to my mom and the tears welled up in my eyes. I’m pretty sure it’s the alcohol so I shook my head and jumped off the swing, walking in the direction of the penthouse, so he didn’t see my face. He hurried after me, grabbing my hand.

Chapter 13

ROMAN

Not sure what I just did to get that reaction. We were swinging and I offered to carry her if she couldn’t make it back without falling asleep. Could’ve been the relationship part, maybe. Whatever it was, I'm going to let her relax and go to bed. If she wants to talk, I’ll listen and if she doesn’t then that’s fine too. I brushed the thoughts away for the rest of the walk home. All I could think about was taking a shower, to behonest.

We got back to the penthouse, and she plopped herself right onto the couch and patted the seat next to her. I wanted to change out of these clothes so badly, but I was afraid if I made her wait, she’d be asleep by the time I got back. I slipped my jacket off and rested it on the back of the chair, neatly. I undid the buttons on my cuffs and rolled them back before I sat down next to her and let her initiate conversation, if that’s what she wanted.

“Thank you. For everything. I never knew there was so much I needed help with until I met you.” She slurred almost every word and sounded tired on top of tipsy. This didn’t sound good coming from her, either. I wanted to take it as a compliment, but I felt like there might be more coming that I wasn’t going to like. Like me pointing out all the things about her that worried me.

I took a deep breath before reassuring her. “Honey, you’ve never needed my help. I just wanted to be there for you.” I pulled her close to let her know that she could trust me.

She looked up at me through glassy eyes with a sweet smile on her face. “Yeah, I’m a real tough ass bitch, ain’t I?” She rolled her eyes but not at me. I’m guessing this was an inner monologue.

“Alex, maybe it’s time for sleep.” I started to get up, but she put her hand on my knee to stop me.

She was adamant, “No, I have things to say, and I think you should listen.” Her lids were heavy, and she looked like she could fall asleep any second.

I felt like I needed to try and stop her, but she wasn’t having it.

“Okay, I’m all ears.”

“So, I think about spending my life with you, but I don’t want you to be miserable because I’m such a trainwreck disaster.” Her face was stoic and vacant, like she couldn’t even see me when she was saying all this. I was happy to hear she wanted to spend her life with me butthinking I could ever be miserable with her was insane. I was miserable without her. I didn’t think it would be good to answer her right now, so I let her keep talking.

She continued, “I was so happy you never gave up on me and I still think that I might run away again, but I also want you to chase me until I figure it out. I know this is really fucked up and you don’t deserve to be strung along like that but it’s how I stay motivated to do what I feel needs to be done. I don’t think you’re going to like it…” Her voice almost went up an octave when she said that, which has me worried. “...so I just want you to be prepared.” I’m totally confused now. Is she planning to do something? I don’t think she meant to say that for some reason.

I decided to try and see if she’d tell me being a little tipsy and all. “Babe, you have me at a disadvantage here. What is it that you don’t think I’m going to like? I think I’ve kept up so far. Granted this is not the kind of relationship I thought I’d ever be in, it’s not something I’m willing to give up, I can assure you that.” She smiled and shook her head.

“I can’t tell you right now. You’ll know when I do.”

I don’t know what that means. How can you plan to do something without knowing what it is? This sounds like a “too much to drink” conversation.

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