Page 47 of Loving You Always

“I would have adored Amalie.” Walsh walked up behind her and took the plate from her numb fingers. He turned the water off. “I never wished she wasn’t born. I just wished she was mine.”

Kerris closed her eyes, but the tears slipped unchecked from under the tightness of her eyelids. Her shoulders shook with hurt and loss she hadn’t realized she’d been saving up for this moment when she’d be with Walsh again. He turned her into his arms, the small of her back pressed against the sink.

“It’s okay, baby,” he whispered into her hair, stroking the silkiness of it.

“Still, Walsh. I’m still hurting over this.” Kerris spilled her composure into a wet mess on Walsh’s shoulder. Her temples throbbed with the force of the sobs shaking her body. “The last time I saw you I was blubbering all over you in the hospital room about her. And here I am, again…still broken up.”

“It was a life, Kerris.” Walsh pulled back, lifting her chin and forcing her to look in his face. “How long do you mourn a life that’s lost? I mourn my mother all the time. Sometimes I find myself on the verge of tears in a stupid board meeting because it hits me that I’ll never see her again. And I had almost thirty years with her. You had no time with Amalie, but she was a part of you. It’ll get better, baby, but it probably won’t ever go away completely.”

Kerris buried her face deeper in the strength of Walsh’s chest, tightening her arms around his waist. She breathed in the scent that was uniquely his, nothing to do with the expensive cologne he wore. She feathered kisses along his collarbone where the collar of his shirt fell away. His hands tightened around her waist, and he brought her so close she truly believed nothing would separate them again. He pulled her up on her tiptoes and left a sweet kiss behind her ear.

“Y’all were in the same position when I left,” Mama Jess said from the kitchen door, frowning with her hands on her hips. “We need to talk about the definition of slow, Mr. Bennett.”

Walsh looked at Mama Jess with his lips pressed together against laughter. Kerris, on the other hand, dropped her head to his shoulder, mortified…again.

“Walk me out.” He reached down for Kerris’s hand and pulled her past Mama Jess’s disapproving figure. He dropped a quick kiss on Mama Jess’s cheek. “Thank you for taking care of her for me.”

“Foryou?” She huffed and puffed, but Kerris could see something melt in Mama Jess’s eyes for Walsh, and wondered when he’d charmed himself into her good graces. “I don’t think so.”

Walsh only smiled and shrugged, heading for the front door and tugging Kerris behind him.

“Dinner was delicious, by the way,” Walsh said to Mama Jess over his shoulder.

“Dinner? I didn’t cook no dinner.”

“We had the leftovers. Collard greens, rice and gravy, country fried steak. I told Kerris it was even better than my mom’s.”

“Kerris cooked that food last night for dinner.” Mama Jess’s grin held pride for her star pupil. “I taught her, though.”

Walsh looked down at Kerris, running his finger along the curve of her jaw.

“Wow. Beautifulandan amazing cook. I hit the jackpot.”

Kerris rolled her eyes to disguise her pleasure at his compliment, tugging on his hand and pulling him toward the front door. Between the embarrassment at being found playing kissy face, and the good ol’ fashioned lust that kept catching fire in her belly every time Walsh looked at her, she was ready to make a quick exit.

“Why didn’t you tell me that was your food?” Walsh chuckled, leaning against the car and pulling her between his legs once they were outside.

Kerris shrugged, shuffling her feet between his. She lowered her eyes to the ground, unable to see much in the dim light, but knowing if she looked at him much longer, she’d probably shove him against the car and have her way with him on the hood. Feeling like this, every moment infused with the heat flaring between them, how could she keep the pace she needed to heal? To do this right?

“My divorce will be final in three months. You could’ve waited those three months.”

“Then send me away.”

His face was a blank sheet of paper with all his emotions written in invisible ink. She could feel the tension creeping into his shoulders as he waited for her response.

“What?” She blinked. “I, um, I just think…”

“Say it. Say, ‘Walsh, I don’t want you here. Go away.’”

Kerris closed her eyes, relishing the smell of him. She could still taste him on her tongue. They were easy words to say. What if he actually left? After having him again for one night, she couldn’t bear the thought of his absence, even for three months.

“Send me away.” His whispered words got lost in the hair he had loosened against her neck. He ran his tongue along the fragile whorls of her ear, nipping her earlobe. He licked the shallow indentation behind her ear, smiling when she couldn’t suppress a delighted shudder. “No?”

Kerris shook her head dazedly, leaning into him, plaiting her fingers with his. Her heart was a rocket in her chest, poised for takeoff. Fired and ready. She licked at the lips left dry by her passion-shallowed breaths. She looked up at him with helpless accusation, feeling like all her emotions were tangled up in him. He was wrapped around her, and she didn’t want to get away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

A smug smile played across his lips. His big hands came up on either side of her face. He kissed her, sipping from her like a well of fresh water. Holding her like she was glass in his hands, delicate and fragile, and he was afraid his love would break her.

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