Page 128 of This Could Be Us

Her daughter scowls, glaring at the two of us before tossing the apron to Soledad and turning on her heel.

“You forgot that!” she yells over her shoulder, taking off to run back to the school.

Soledad looks at the fabric clutched to her chest, then pulls it away and stares down at the vibrantly stitched message.

I’M THE COOL MOM.

CHAPTER FORTY

SOLEDAD

So how was school?” I ask, my tone bright and false-sounding even to my ears.

“Great.” Lupe serves herself some of the grilled chopped vegetable salad from the center of the table. “I got an A on that history test.”

“That’s amazing, honey.” I smile with genuine pleasure. “Studying really paid off, huh?”

“Yeah.” She nods. “Don’t forget I need to pay for that SAT prep class.”

“Right.” I start adding and subtracting figures in my head to make sure I’ll be able to handle even one extra expense. “We’ll take care of it.”

“I can get a job, Mom,” Lupe says, ladling some of the tomato bisque into her empty bowl. “I can help.”

“No.” I release a sigh and shake my head. “What I mean is not yet. I want you focused on school right now and all the extracurricular stuff colleges will be looking for.”

“What about this summer?” she ventures. “Deja and I thought about maybe working at Grits as hostesses.”

“I wanna be a hostess!” Lottie says, a lettuce leaf hanging from her mouth.

“Be eleven, Lottie. I’ll let you know when it’s time to be something else.” I turn my attention back to Lupe and spoon up soup from my bowl. “That might be a good idea, Lupe. We can talk about it later.”

Inez, who has not said a word to me since “catching” Judah at the car, stirs her soup, her eyes fixed on the swirling liquid. We weren’t doing anything, but my daughter isn’t stupid. She has eyes and no doubt picked up on the connection between me and the man she holds responsible for her father’s incarceration.

“What about you, Lottie?” I sip my water and smile when my youngest’s face lights up.

“This morning,” Lottie says, “Coach said my bar routine is one of the best he’s seen in a long time.”

“That’s so great.” I reach across and tug one of the braids on her shoulder. “Proud of you.”

“He says he emailed you three camps for the summer. I need to make sure I get into one if I wanna keep up,” she continues, piercing a few strips of grilled chicken on the platter and transferring them to the salad on her plate. “He asked if you got that email?”

“I did.” I blow out a breath. “The camps are really expensive, honey. We’ll have to see, okay?”

The light dimming in her eyes makes my heart clench. It kills me not to be able to give them things they want or need, but there is only so much I can do. I’m making steady money now, but it’s not always predictable. I try to keep a good bit in savings as a cushion in case I have a really dry month or two. My parents didn’t live in a house like this in a neighborhood like Skyland. It was public school from K to twelve for us. No exclusive private school like Harrington, but our basic needs were met, and we were loved. We all knew that, and that is the greatest gift I can give my girls, even if sometimes it feels to them like they need more.

“But Daddy will be out by then, right?” Lottie asks, her voice uncertain. “And we’ll have a lot of money again?”

I grit my teeth. It’s galling that after all this time working my ass off, figuring out a whole new career and path for myself to keep a roof over our heads and food on our table, my daughter still thinks it’s her father who will swoop in and save the day. He’s the one who ruined everything.Isaved us.

“Your father won’t be able to go back to his job,” I settle on saying, stabbing the salad with my fork. “You know that. He may not be able to help out much financially when he first gets out.”

“I’m sure your rich boyfriend will help us, Mom,” Inez says, her first words to me all night.

Everything and everyone go completely still, like someone poured a bucket of ice water over the table and we’re all frozen in place. Lupe’s spoon dangles above her bowl. Lottie looks like a little guppy, her mouth stretched open in shock.

“You have a boyfriend, Mom?” Lottie asks.

“What’s she talking about?” Lupe lets her spoon drop and clatter in the bowl.

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