Page 48 of For Her Own Good

Dammit, Campbell, why do you always leave it up to her to take the leap?On the whole, especially in my professional life, the ability to open doors and stand around pretending I have no stake in which ones people choose to walk through is a great skill to have. It’s served me well with many of my patients, and indeed, with people in general. Most often people don’t want advice, they just need someone to talk to until they figure it out on their own.

But with Starla, regarding this in particular, it’s unfair to make her volunteer all of these things, especially knowing how difficult it was for her to say them out loud in the first place. It might be nice if I instead showed her the door I wanted to walk through and asked her if she wanted to come with me.

She’s had more experience than I have, to be certain, but if I’d like to take on this role, and I think I would like that, very much, then I have to take some responsibility for her. She said herself she gets disoriented, and I can feel it, the way she wavers a bit when she’s feeling little whereas I’ve always thought of her being clear as an undisturbed lake. So I’ll put it out there, for her, and hope my words belie the confidence and comfort I don’t yet feel.

“Because for me, the idea of being your daddy is a turn-on. More than anything else my pea brain can come up with, anyhow, though I am open to suggestions. Is that…is that how you feel as well?”

She bites her lip and, still looking a bit dubious, nods.

“Did you maybe get turned on just now, talking about it, or were you too nervous?”

Her mouth doesn’t exactly purse, it more forms a precursor to a laugh. “Oh, no, I definitely got turned on. Thinking about it. Doing those things with you. Not as much as usual, but, yeah.”

Not as much as usual? Thinking about doing daddy kink things with me isusual? Christ almighty…

“Look, I know I said I wanted to talk, and I still think that’s a good idea, but I’m also just a man and I am dying here. I got to kiss you and hold you, and now you’ve been sitting on my lap for some time, and if it would not make me a terribly irresponsible individual, I would like to do more of that.”

“I would not object to that. But there’s something else I’d also like to do.”

“What’s that, sweetheart?”

Her smile dazzles me. Sweet like that Popsicle she enjoyed in my fantasy the other night.

“I want to fuck.”

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. It’s a good thing I wasn’t drinking when she said that because I would be spitting it all over what I’m sure is a very expensive rug.

“Ye do?”

She nods, more enthusiastically, still wide-eyed and looking…I don’t know. There’s something softer about her, something more innocent even though she was anything but just now. I need to get some clarity for myself, though, before I jump in headfirst.

“I know you don’t want to take it slow, but…”

“If you don’t want to fuck, we can do other things. But I want to. We’re both adults, we’ve both had sex before, and it’s not like we just met. And I have condoms.”

“Of course you do.”

Starla’s eyes narrow. “This isn’t some slut-shamey kind of thing, is it? Because I’ve got to tell you, I have no time for that. Less than zero. I like sex, I’ve had a bunch of it, and I’m not going to be coy about asking for it. I mean, I might be for a role-play, but not like in real life.”

“Ah, no, not at all. I was surprised. Delighted, yes, that too. So, if you’re sure, I’d be happy to oblige.”

“As my daddy?”

If she keeps saying that, I’m going to spend in my pants before we get there. Good thing I’m not a green lad anymore because I probably would have already. “If you like. I’ll do my best, though I might be a bit awkward.”

“I don’t care. Back to the bed, please.”

“Is that how it is?”

She nods again and I can picture her doing the same with pigtails dancing on either side of her head. Maybe a little sassy, which doesn’t come as a surprise. And I may need to start lifting more at the gym if carrying her about is going to become a habit. I’m in no danger of dropping her, but I’d like to do this more easily, make her feel safer, and—as it’s clearly something she enjoys—I’d like to do it more often.

Once I’ve carried her back to the bed, I lie down beside her, kiss and stroke her, savor everything about her. She’s somewhat lacking in patience, though, and grabs at my shirt, untucks it from my pants and unbuttons the thing, wrestles it over my shoulders and then heads straight for my belt. I’ll have to return the favor shortly, but for now I can’t help but be flattered by how ravenous she is for me. I like to think of myself as confident but not arrogant, but how much she wants me is going straight to my head.

Indeed, she’s single-minded in her pursuit of stripping me out of my clothes, and it doesn’t take long until I’m naked as the day I was born. And though I’d feared she wouldn’t be impressed since I’m not exactly the fittest specimen on the planet—though I hope not bad for fifty-one—she seems anything but disappointed. Runs her hands along my arm, my chest, along my side, and down to my arse.

I would have never pictured her to be so forward, but I’m glad she is. Makes the scales tip a bit back into balance. Speaking of balance, I’d like to even the score on how many clothes we’re sporting. But when I reach for her, she reaches right back and circles my cock with her hand, which ends any coherent thoughts I’ve ever had.

It’s been a while, yes, but that’s not the entirety of what’s making my head blank like a freshly erased blackboard. I don’t want to disappoint her already, so I circle her wrist with my hand.

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