Page 81 of For Her Own Good

I roll my lips between my teeth and nod, starting to cede control back to him. Which is frankly a relief. I’d been wired when he arrived, and being the one to provide support and succor didn’t alleviate the burden. If anything, it’s become heavier and I don’t want to carry it anymore, not if he’s recovered sufficiently to take on some of the load.

We kiss and I can feel his hunger, feel the way things around us have shifted, and as he plunders my mouth with that clever tongue of his, I feel too the way I’ve been keyed up turn into desire for him, desire to be his.

“Come on then, love.”

Lowry sits down at the edge of the bed, grabs BB-8, and places it to his side. I wasn’t sure if he’d want to do any of this what with the emotional roller coaster we’ve already endured this evening, but perhaps this will make him feel as though he has control over something, even if he couldn’t save his patient. Or maybe he just likes to spank me and he could use a little pleasure right now. Does it matter? At the moment, I think not. Especially because I’m eager to surrender myself to him, let him do as he will with me. And if that’s spanking my bottom? So much the better.

I crawl onto the bed and drape myself over his lap, clutching BB-8 to my head. Well, the side of him that’s soft and doesn’t look like the droid. I mean, BB-8 must’ve seen some things in Poe’s service, but I don’t want him being corrupted here.

It’s that peculiar mix of comfort and slight humiliation being turned bottoms up over Lowry’s thighs that has me starting to feel spaced out and dreamy. And when he slides a hand under my skirt and drags it over the frilly underwear I picked special for today, he groans and I let out a small moan of my own.

“What are you doing to me, Star? I swear I used to be a fine, upstanding citizen and now all I can think of is you in your little outfits and your darling shoes, and this…”

He fists a hand in my hair and I don’t even care that he’s crushing the ringlets that took me an hour to perfect—they’ve clearly served their purpose.

“And how I want to turn you over my knee and spank your bottom until it’s bright red before I stuff my cock inside this”—there’s a slight pause because he’s shoved his hand full-on inside my panties, nudged my thighs apart and speared his fingers into my core, making me gasp—“tight little pussy of yours. You’re so wet for me already, darling. I love how wet my little girl gets for me.”

I rock back against his fingers, trying to get more of them inside me, fuck back against him while I rub my clit against his thigh and get myself off. There’s no way he’ll let me, but a girl’s gotta try.

Of course he tsks at me, knowing what I’m trying to do, and withdraws his fingers with a spank to my cheek.

“What a naughty little thing you are, trying to rub one off on Daddy’s thigh. You didn’t think I’d let you get away with that, did you?”

I whimper and collapse, feeling the loss of his fingers keenly. “No, Daddy.”

“That’s right, I’m the one in charge here, not you. You’ll take what I give you, no more, no less. Perhaps you need a spanking to remind you of how things work.”

He doesn’t wait for a response, but tugs down the ruffly underwear until it rests in the crease between ass and thigh, and it’s that delicious kind of humiliation, knowing my butt is perfectly framed by my dress rucked up around my waist and the ruffles at the bottom. He must be thinking the same thing, because he grabs my cheeks in both hands and squeezes them.

“Like ripe peaches. That’s what your bottom looks like, Star, all round and firm and begging to be squeezed.”

He kneads at me for a bit, and it’s all I can do to keep my hips still for him, to not rut against his leg. It helps that I am dying of embarrassment, my face flaming with how much I like this and also with thoughts of why. Why do I like this?

But when he plants a palm at the small of my back and then starts to spank me, it doesn’t seem to matter so much anymore. The point is that Idolike it. Like the way his hand lands against my flesh, the sting of it followed by a heat that builds with every passing blow.

Lowry works me over, his hand making contact with what feels like every exposed inch of my ass, and layering the hits on top of each other. That’s how the heat builds, the warmth radiating out after each spank, but part of it remaining until the slaps raining down on me are hard. Not enough to feel punished, as though I’ve been bad and need to be corrected—I think he’d make it very clear if I was really being punished—but enough to make me feel as though none of this is under my control anymore, none of this is my responsibility.

Lowry is going to spank my bottom until he’s felt I’ve had enough and that’s how things are going to be. I shouldn’t bother to fight, but just enjoy the repeated contact, and how he’s so carefully attending to me.

Which is maybe strange? That it feels so good to me that he’s spanking me so very thoroughly. Would I feel the same delight and peace if he were attentioning me in some other way? I wouldn’t be averse to finding out, but there’s something about being spanked that is a perfect storm of everything I want and love. I love, too, the way he drags a hand over my heated bottom when he’s done.

“You were such a good girl, Star, taking that spanking. Your bottom is the nicest shade of pink now, and all warmed up. Can you feel that?”

Oh, I can, and when he switches to fingertips drifting whisper-soft over my abused flesh, I get chills. Serves to provide a contrast that bows my spine and makes me squirm as a shudder runs through me. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Good girl,” he murmurs as he continues to stroke my bottom. I could fall asleep like this. Or maybe I’m too horny to fall asleep? Especially when I think about how he had his fingers inside me before. I’d like for him to do that again. I’d like for him to fuck me again, make me take his big cock inside me…

Just then, he strokes a finger into the top of the cleft of my ass and it makes me start.

“Shh, love. I know we haven’t done this before, but I want to touch you. If you don’t like it or don’t want me to or need me to stop for any reason at all, say ‘penguin,’ okay? You can say ‘no’ and ‘stop’ and I’ll check in with you the first couple of times, but I thought you might like to tell me no but still mean yes. I know you’ve used safewords with Jade before. Just like that. Tell me you understand.”

“I understand, Daddy.”

And I like the idea very much. It’s nice that he’s not making me say yes to this, as it’s something I’ve struggled with in the past. I don’t know why. Lots of people enjoy anal play and I don’t honestly think there’s anything to be ashamed of, but those taboos and shame are really hardwired, aren’t they?

So he’s going to do this and I have the safety of being able to make it stop, but also the freedom of not having to affirm that this is something I want. Hell, can even protest that I’m a good girl and of course don’t want this, but have him “force” it on me anyway so I can take my pleasure.

“Tell me your word so I know you remember.”

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