Page 105 of From London, With Love

“Lara.”

I take a deep, grounding breath. Yet again, I’m feeling slightly overwhelmed. I look over at Carter, who’s sitting beside me with his most sincere smile and those gorgeous green eyes, and I know there’s no word of a lie in what he’s telling me.

Mia is okay with this, encouraging it—us—even.?

“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me the truth sooner. I mean I do, but I don’t, you know?”

“Because you spook easily.”

My jaw begins to drop, but Carter is quicker. “I’m kidding.”

Carter lets out a yelp mingled with a chuckle when I smack him on the knee. “You deserved that.”

“You’re right, I did.”

There’s something different about holding Carter’s gaze. He looks at me as though he can see everything; my past traumas, our present, and my future, and there’s nothing he wants more than to be just that—my future. Perhaps that’s how it should be.

The longer we look at each other, the more I notice the way his eyes begin to water. Ever the physical touch type, he grabs my hands and wraps his own around them, cocooning them.?

Carter

A tear slips down my cheek unbidden, but I don’t move to wipe it. I’m not afraid of showing emotion around Lara.?

“You must know, I’m deeply sorry for not coming clean about the whole facade sooner. My family needed to come first. But if there’s one thing I’ve come to know is true, it’s that I can so clearly see you being part of my family as well.”

“Doesn’t that scare you? Having those feelings about someone who could break your heart?”

“It is scary; quite frankly, it’s fucking terrifying. If I’m honest, I think my exact words to Dex were, ‘fuck, Dex, I think I’m falling in love with her, and that scares me more than almost anything.’”

Lara’s head flicks up, those tear-brimmed deep blues looking into my soul. Her eyes soften as a small smile pulls at the corners of her glossed lips. She blinks, a lone tear rolling down her soft cheek. I’m mesmerised by her.?

“Carter . . .”

“Yes, love?”

A gentle giggle escapes, Lara’s hand coming up to stifle it before wiping the stray tear away. “You have no idea what you just said, do you?”

Oh no, what did I say? It can’t be anything too horrible, given the giggle.?

Oh fuck.

I just told Lara I think I’m falling in love with her without actually tellingher.

As someone who prides themselves on the way they’re able to handle any situation thrown at them with a smile, satire, sense, or all of the above, I’ll be the first to admit Iroyallyfucked this one up.?

Lara looks at me expectantly, no doubt wondering if I’ll freak out or double down. This is far from the way I imagined telling her, but there’s a silver lining—I’m going to tell her. Any agonising over timing is out the window. That initial ‘oh fuck’ feeling subsides, and a wave of calm washes over me.I’m going to tell her.Wrapping my hand around hers, I look deep into those beautiful blue eyes that I’ve come to know so well.

“It might not be the way I’d have liked to tell you, but that doesn’t make it any less true—I’m falling in love with you, Matthews.” Her hand trembles in mine, becoming clammy. Despite every part of me wanting to break eye contact from fear of rejection, I don’t. Instead, I hold her gaze like it’s the last thing I’ll ever do. I catalogue each variation of blue, the varying thickness of the darker rim, and the almost imperceptible flecks of green, committing it all to memory on the off chance this is the last time. But as I witness the tears welling again and the tiny pull at the corner of her mouth, I know with absolute certainty no one will ever look at me the way Lara is in this moment.?

“I’m not expecting you to say it back or even reciprocate the feeling, not yet anyway. But I don’t doubt one day you will, and it’ll be the second greatest moment of my entire existence.” I lean in closer, my mouth inches from hers. “Second only to any occasion where I find myself between your thighs, drowning in that?—”

“Oh, shut up and kiss me, Lawrence.” Her tear-stained cheeks develop her signature blush as the most captivating smile reels me in.

I can’t wipe the smile off my face as I crush my mouth to hers, kissing her with everything I have. Running the tip of my tongue along the seam of her lips, she opens herself to me.?

It’s the type of kiss you’d expect to see at the end of one ofthose holiday Hallmark movies Lara’s been forcing me to watch right before it fades to black. She doesn’t need to say a word; this kiss tells me everything I need to know. She’s falling for me, too.

Chapter 45

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