Page 71 of From London, With Love

The emphasis on ‘brother’ has the dread I felt earlier turning cyclonic.

“I didn’t plan to,” I say quietly, but instantly regret it because it’s not true.

“But you did!” Her voice booms across the small kitchen. Spinning to face me, she raises her arms helplessly. In the timeI’ve known Mia, I don’t think I’ve ever heard her raise her voice like this. I brace myself as she goes to speak again, but she must think better of it, closing her mouth and eyes. She stays like this for a moment and my heart stops dead. “I need a moment,” she says as she opens her eyes, far quieter than her last words. Mia leaves the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Sighing, I rest my forearms on the buffet, letting my head hang. The beginning of a pounding headache radiates across my forehead. I don’t know what sort of reception I expected from Mia, but I really shouldn’t be surprised—I can’t imagine I’d react much better if it were my brother.

I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here when footsteps approach. Lead fills my skull as I lift my head, turning to see Mia has returned. Hesitantly, she wanders over and sits upon the stool next to me. We sit in silence for a moment, unsure how to proceed. Considering my actions started this whole thing, I decide to speak up.

“You’re right. I could’ve said no, could’ve done what I did with anyone else, but I didn’t.” There’s no point denying it. We may not havecompletelyslept together, but Harper was right; the distinction doesn’t matter to Mia. Honestly, I was naive to think it would. “I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear right now—or ever—but I need to be honest with you from the get-go. It’s not going to be a one-time thing.”

“Oh my god,” is her only response. I don’t blame her, but my honesty right now is a must.

“I know, I know, there are four million guys to pick from, and yet I’ve chosen your brother. I’m not trying to make things weird, I just wanted you to know. I don’t want to keep things from you.”

“But why him? Ofall the men,why my brother?” The earlier frustration has dissipated, leaving only perplexation in its place.

Why him?It’s a valid question, and unfortunately one I’m struggling for an answer to. I need to dig deep and be truthful with not only Mia, but with myself. There are plenty of hot men here, whycan’tI pick another one?

“Honestly, no one has ever treated me the way he does. No one has ever had the effect on me that he does. At the risk of TMI, he cares in a way no man has before—about what I want, what I like, what I dream about but am too scared to ask for. In this way, he’s kind of perfect for me. But if you ask me not to see him anymore, I can respect that. I just really hope you don’t ask that.”

Bracing herself against the edge of the bench, Mia hangs her head and lets out a sigh. She stays this way for a few moments, unspeaking. When she lifts her head to look at me once more, she looks disheartened. Her brows are low, and the corners of her mouth are turned down.

“I would never dictate who you can see, Lars. I’m sorry for biting your head off. As I’m sure you’re aware, this isn’t atallwhat I expected when I asked you what was wrong.” She lets out a somewhat hysterical laugh before continuing. “But I know I can be hot-headed sometimes, and I’m very protective of my siblings, so I might have overreacted slightly.”

“Come here,” I say with a smile, extending my arms towards her. Mia leans into me and I wrap my arm around her, resting my hand on her shoulder.

“You have nothing to apologise for. I know you’re protective of him, and I respect that so much.”

“I just don’t want anyone to end up hurt.”

This has me pausing momentarily. I never thought Mia would be worried about that, given the nature of my relationship with Carter.

“I assure you, that won’t happen. It’s purely physical.”

Regret over my choice of words smacks me on the forehead as soon as I utter them. We cringe simultaneously.

“What I mean to say is I’m well aware of Carter’s public image, so this will never get to a stage where anyone would get hurt.”

At the mention of the media, Mia’s expression changes almost imperceptibly.

“It’s more than meets the eye,” she mutters, avoiding my gaze. “Regardless, be careful, okay? With your heart and his.”

With that, she gives me a half hug, bids me goodnight, and retreats to her bedroom. Mia’s bowl of Bolognese sits to the side of the stovetop, untouched. For a moment I consider taking it to her but think better of it. I’m sure she’s had enough of me for one night.?

Instead, I collect my own bowl and carry it into my bedroom. Once I’ve sat on my bed, I look up to the ceiling to fight the tears beginning to gather. All things considered, I think that went about as well as it could, but I’m emotionally spent.?

Thirty minutes later, with a full stomach and dry eyes, I drift off to sleep, grateful that tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter 32

Carter

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Devereux Meeting Notes

---