Lying in bed, my thoughts are almost overwhelming.?
I have feelings for Carter.
I have feelings for the man who’s not only my boss but the brother of one of my best friends.
I have feelings for a man who lives half a world away from my home.
I have feelings for a man who is guaranteed to break my heart.
I have feelings for a man, full stop.
Maybe if I continue to repeat this like a mantra, it’ll force some sort of reality check on me and shock the feelings right out of me. It’s highly unlikely, but it’s worth a shot.?
The longer I lie here, the more sleep evades me. This man could be everything I dreamed of as achild; everything I ultimately decided wasn’t real when I learnt of the cruelness of the world.
You could spend 20 years with the love of your life, and then one day, they turn around and say they don’t love you anymore. Or you can have two beautiful children with him, and then out of nowhere, the three of you aren’t enough. The things they once found endearing and unique about you are now seen as irritating and inconvenient.
They say the only things guaranteed in life are death and taxes, but I believe heartbreak and disappointment should be on that list too.
Chapter 42
Carter
Me
Good evening from Paris my favourite siblings!
I have news.
Big Ted
My biggest hope in life is that you one day realise you aren’t as funny as you think you are.
Emmy
Teddy don’t be so bitter
He’s right though Cart.
How’s Paris?
Me
Does no one care about the “I have news” ??
Big Ted
Please share with the group little guy.
Emmy
TEDDY
He’ll never tell us now.
Big Ted
Thank god.