Page 106 of Say It Isn't So

“Morelli,” she answered in between bites.

I harrumphed. “Naturally. So why not juggle and do both?”

“Because Maria lives a very structured life, and she doesn’t like unnecessary chaos. She likes things just so.” She lifted her head up and looked at me. “I honestly couldn’t see her opening her own restaurant, even if she wanted to. For a while Dom tried to push her to do it. He thought it’d be great.”

I eyed her. “I’d been meaning to ask. What’s the deal with those two?”

She chuckled. “Isn’t that the million-dollar question? It’s a long story.”

“That you’re going to share?”

“One day, definitely.”

There was a brief pause in conversation before she started up again, bringing it back to local restaurants. She had nostalgia in her eyes. “There’s this one Italian restaurant that she’d definitely be in competition with and I’m not so sure she’d win. They have the best spicy rigatoni ever. My dad orders it every time, says no one makes it like a Carbone.” She put her head down as she was talking so I didn’t notice, but when she looked toward the ceiling and began fanning her face, leaving her fork in her dish, I saw that she was trying to gain control of her emotions.

“Hey,” I said softly, getting up and going to her. I got down on bended knee and turned her to face me. “You don’t have to suck those tears in for me.”

She shook her head and closed her eyes then, letting the tears fall. I tried catching them as they rolled down her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs.

“I know. It’s silly, really. I’m crying over someone that’s here. He’s here, he’s not gone. He’s literally right here, in the same state as me.”

I cupped her trembling chin with my fingers. “But it’s not the same,” I whispered, knowing that she wasn’t being ridiculous at all. “You still can’t have him the way you want. He feels lost to you in some ways.” I wanted her to know I understood. It was that understanding that had led me to my decision. The hardest decision of my life, to be frank.

She nodded. “That’s exactly how I feel. How do you always know what I’m thinking and feeling but struggle to put into words?”

Because I took an interest in her and everything Bianca Morelli. Two years ago I’d wanted us to have something and it didn’t work out. The cruel irony was that I had her now and needed to give her up. If that wasn’t the very definition ofnot meant to be, then I didn’t know what was.

Bianca needed her family, her whole family. That included her dad.

Give me the strength to say these words and remain true to them, to not waver in my decision.I knew I was doing the right thing. I knew it deep down. That didn’t make it better, though. In fact, I wanted so bad for Angelo to call Bianca right now and say,the other night and everything we said is forgotten. You can see Knox if you want. It’s your life, live it the way you want. No matter what, you’ll always be my daughter and I love you.

I waited for a second. A minute. But no such luck. No call. Nothing.

I stood up. So that just left—“We need to end this.”

Her face said it all. Her bottom lip rolled down into a pout. Then her eyes turned dark, and her brows furrowed. And then—“You’ve got to be kidding me!” She burst out of her chair so suddenly, I was left standing there while she paced in the kitchen. “This has to be some kind of joke.” She pulled at her hair, trying to loosen it, it seemed. “It’s not funny, Knox. This joke falls flat, hate to say it.”

“It’s not a joke,” I responded, keeping my voice even. I started to walk over to her, but she backed up, making it clear that she didn’t want me to touch her.

She spun on her heel, her mouth forming an O. “This explains why you’ve been avoiding me! I wasn’t sure, but this is why. Now I know. Dom was right. You regret letting me stay here.”

My gut clenched as I shook my head, not sure what she was talking about. “No, that’s not it. I don’t care that you’re here. I care that us being together is impacting you and I won’t do it anymore,” I said, standing my ground. I knew she was pissed, but in hindsight she’d see I was doing her a favor. That was what I was doing this for, and she didn’t need to understand or see that now, but she did need to let me do this.

Rage burned in her eyes, and she shook her head from side to side. “I disagree.”

She stormed out of the kitchen, but not for long. Coming back in, she ran her hands through her hair and blew bubbles. I knew she wasn’t laughing, but it seemed like she might. Not that any of this was funny.

“Bianca,” I tried to get her to calm down.

“I am so sick and tired of the men in my life trying to control me. First my dad and now you. You’re taking the easy way out. I lost everything for you, for us. I lost my job, pushed my dad away, and for what?”

I raked a hand through my hair. “I’m not trying to control you.” Why couldn’t she see that? “I’m trying to fix it and get all those things back for you. I don’t want you to lose anything. Not for me.”

Her face dropped as she stood there, her shoulders shaking as more tears came down. “You don’t have to do this. Please don’t do this,” she begged.

I stepped toward her and this time she let me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close while she wept on my shirt, her arms coming around my torso. I smoothed her hair with my hands and let her get it all out.

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