Page 13 of Say It Isn't So

I had no words left to say. Nothing left to give.

I was done. I moved to New York, got a job at a butcher shop, lived in a cramped apartment all for her. For her. For Rina Blum. For the woman I was in love with and would do anything for.

But this woman standing before me was not that woman. Not anymore. She didn’t show a bit of emotion about ending things. Anyone else would have shed tears, but Rina didn’t shed one single tear. She didn’t even look sad about it.

So no, I didn’t understand this. Frankly, it felt a little callous, a little cruel, a little selfish, and a lot unnecessary.

Rina knew me and she knew I would have gone anywhere with her. And if she didn’t want me to go, I would have done the long distance thing.

Long distance—did she even think about that?

* * *

Rina

Ugh, he was staring at me like I was some villain. I was not a villain. I was a woman with ambitions and wasn’t going to let some man get in my way.

This was the whole reason I was in New York, the reason I left Minnesota, so I could give myself a fresh start and a real shot at becoming the person I wanted to be.

I was sick and tired of seeing everyone else live out their dreams while I was stuck, quite literally, in a disgusting apartment with little to no money and no way out.

I had been given a way out.

And no way was Inottaking it.

But I couldn’t take my past with me. Knox was like deadweight and I needed him off my back.

I needed to do this on my own and make a fresh start for myself, which meant Knox needed to stay in my past.

Knowing all of this, though, didn’t make it any easier to end things with him. Knox had to know that. I did still love him, I just couldn’t let my love for him stop me from what was really important—moving forward. And sometimes that meant moving on.

* * *

Knox

“Rina, we could do long distance,” I tried. Maybe it was stupid, but I had to. I had a history with this woman; we dated all through high school and college; we moved out here together. If I didn’t at least bring it up, I knew I’d regret it. And if she was going to leave like this and I was going to let her, then I didn’t want any regrets. I wanted to be able to move on the same way she so clearly was.

But as expected, she shook her head. “I’m sorry, no. I’m about to start a whole new life, Knox, the life I’ve always dreamed of having. I want to start it without any baggage, completely fresh. I owe it to myself.”

I’m baggage?This conversation just kept getting better and better. Was this how all breakups went or was mine the worst one yet? They could always make a sitcom out of our relationship and then our breakup from the pits of hell. It would make a killing, what with all the people who would pay to watch this train wreck, so at least that was something, right?

They could sell it to the public with the tagline:The Idiot Boyfriend Who Moved Out to New York to Watch His Girlfriend Soar Was Dumped Because He’s Baggage.

“What about me?” I asked out of curiosity. Did she even think about me in any of this?

She shrugged, out of answers, and picked up the handle of her large suitcase. “I’m sorry, I really am.” Then she had the gall to ask, “Don’t you want this for me?”

Of course I wanted this for her. I wanted to see her happy. She couldn’t have been serious when she asked me that question.

It just so happened that, in this moment, I also wanted to put my fist through a wall to stop myself from breaking down completely. But I wasn’t going to show any emotion. I was going to be just as dead as she was.

It killed me that she looked stone-cold, like she felt no remorse. After all this time.

I knew becoming a fashion designer was the most important thing in the world to her, but I’d never expected it could possibly come at the expense ofus.

* * *

Rina

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