Page 83 of The Mended Hearts Bookshop

“No, the leaving,” Ash said. “And you’re supposed to be listening to me. So listen up and listen well and we’ll try and get all this business sorted efficiently so we can go back to lounging in bed and eating biscuits, or whatever you like to do when you’re ill.”

“I’m not actually ill,” Pen began. Then she saw the look on Ash’s face and she closed her mouth again.

“This cannot go on,” Ash said. “In any way, shape, or form. You can’t give so much of yourself that there’s nothing left for you. Ever heard the saying that you can’t feed the village from an empty pantry? Well, that’s you. You emptied your pantry out and you paid the price for it. From now on, I want your word that you’ll look after yourself in order that you are able to help look after others.”

Pen thought back to the shaky feeling she’d had as she collapsed, the way the world had darkened. She nodded. “Deal.”

“Right, moving on then,” said Ash in a business like fashion. “I shouldn’t have left. I was being stubborn and pig-headed and stuck in my ways, which I’ve got a tendency to be, you know? If you’re going to concentrate on looking after yourself, well, those are the things I need to concentrate on to look after myself better. I shouldn’t have left.”

“You shouldn’t?” Pen said anxiously.

“No,” Ash said. She sniffed, then looked directly at Pen. “Because I love you. I think.”

Pen felt the happiness brewing up inside her, felt her lips twitching into a smile. “Well, if that isn’t the most romantic thing I’ve heard. I love you, I think.”

“I’m not done yet,” Ash said. She took a breath and then took both of Pen’s hands in her own. “You are the kindest, most lovely person I’ve ever met. And for a while there I hated you for it. I hated your sunshine and I thought you were interferingand annoying and one of those people that always has to be involved.”

Pen’s eyes narrowed. “Are we getting to the romantic bit soon?”

Ash ignored her. “And then I realized that you were genuine. That you’re actually sunshine. You don’t just sit around hoping for the best, you make the best happen, Pen. And I don’t know why it took my stupid, annoying, and yet strangely nice London neighbor, and a handful of crazy romance novels to realize that, but it did.”

Pen struggled to sit upright, pushing herself up so that she could better see Ash.

“What I’m saying,” Ash said. “Is that I want to be a part of all this. I want a little slice of sunshine. I want to be optimistic, I want to build something with you. Even if that something only lasts a little while. Because you’re the best person I’ve ever met, Pen. And you make me better just by being with you.”

“I see,” Pen said, finally finding her voice, and now not knowing what she wanted to say with it.

“But I understand if you don’t want to live with a grump like me,” Ash said, squeezing Pen’s hands tight. “I get that. Just… just maybe we can give us a real chance. I never should have left and I’m not leaving again. In fact, even if you say no, I’m still staying. Because I’ll always hope that you can love me back and I’ll stay here until the end of time if I have to.”

Tears began to press behind Pen’s eyes. “You don’t have to wait, Ash. I’ll love you until the end of time. There’s no waiting required. You might be grumpy and snappy and irritable, but you’re realistic and kind and I think maybe you just didn’t learn how to let people like you, because it is a choice. Nothing would make me happier than to see you every day, to love you every day.”

Ash’s eyes were filling up now, the tears spilling over, until she was half-laughing with them, still clinging on to Pen’s hands. “If this is so good, then why are we crying?” she sputtered.

Pen held out her arms and Ash crawled into them and they lay together, holding each other, as the morning light streamed into Pen’s bedroom. Slowly, Pen started to stroke Ash’s hair and she could feel Ash’s heart beat next to her.

She sighed.

“This is all I’ve ever wanted,” she said.

“Is it?” Ash asked, looking up at her. She grinned. “It’s nothing that I’ve ever wanted at all. At least until right now, that is. But change is a good thing, right?”

Pen smiled back. “It’ll have to be. There’s a lot of changes to come.” She paused and hugged Ash close to her. “Do you really think you can get used to living in this small space with another person?”

“Oh shit.” Ash pulled out of the cuddle, sitting upright, and Pen’s heart started to hammer in her chest. Had Ash really not considered any of the consequences of living in Tetherington, of them sharing the bakery?

“Ash, we don’t have to stay here, I suppose. I mean, I’d love to, but what, with the bakery being so small and the bookshop being sold already, I can see how it might not be ideal.”

Ash was grinning like a maniac. “I didn’t mean ‘oh shit, I have to live in a small space with you.’ I meant ‘oh shit, I haven’t told you.’”

“Told me what?” asked Pen, Ash’s grin was becoming infectious.

“The bookshop’s sold because I bought it,” Ash said.

“You… you what?” asked Pen.

“You heard me.”

“But… but you don’t know the first thing about selling books,” Pen said.

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