Page 67 of (Not So) Mad About You

“Only because I’m ballsing this up so badly.” Bea took a deep breath. “Sit down?”

It took a second, but eventually Alli sat.

“Okay, what I meant to say was, well, you’re going to be leaving the program and that changes the circumstances between us. But actually, I’d, um…” Deep breath. “I'd really like to continue seeing you if that’s something you'd be interested in.”

For a few seconds, Alli just sat. “You mean… have someone?” she said finally. “Someone who complains that I work all the time and wants me to come home and who’s in my space all the time?”

Bea wasn’t too sure what to make of that. “Well, um, I’d be away teaching at least every other week, so I won’t be too much in your space. And I have my own flat. But, um, in terms of having someone, well, yes, sort of. If you want.”

But Alli was already smiling. “I think I might like that,” she said. “In fact, I’ve got a flat too. I mean, if you didn’t want to move more than once, my place is pretty big and…”

“Maybe we take things a little bit slower?” Bea suggested. Her heart was hammering in her chest, adrenaline was pumping through her.

“Yes, yeah, of course. Just, the offer’s there if you want it. And…” Alli looked up again, bright green eyes. “And did you really think I’d say no?”

“Did you really think I was about to dump you?” Bea asked in return.

“I don’t know. All of this has been so sudden, so unexpected.But… But it feels good,” Alli admitted.

“I think this program’s been helpful to you,” Bea said, sitting next to her. “You’re calmer. Nicer.”

“I think you make me that way.”

Bea shook her head. “I’m not sure I do.”

“I am,” Alli said. “But I’ll admit that this all turned out a lot better than I ever hoped.”

Bea cleared her throat. “About all that. Um, this is a process and, well, I’m not sure that a simple two-week program is really all a person needs—”

“No,” Alli said immediately. “No more anger management. I get what you’re saying, Bea. But I’ve done this even though I didn’t think I needed it. And honestly, I do feel more in control now. I’ve got you to help me if things get dicey. But the truth remains that I really shouldn’t have been here in the first place. I make my voice heard. That’s not the same as having an anger problem.”

Alli’s fingers were wrapped in hers and her voice was hypnotic and her body was so close. So Bea nodded. “Alright,” she said. “Alright. I get it.”

“So… this is being in a relationship, huh?” Alli looked around the little room. “I’d have imagined it slightly more spacious, but I’ve got to say, having someone is nicer than I’d have thought.”

Bea laughed. “It is quite nice, isn’t it?”

Alli’s arms snuck around her and Bea leaned into it and smelled guava and Alli. And thought that finally, she was getting her happy ending.

Chapter Twenty Seven

She wasn’t going to lie. Waking up without Bea was a strange sensation. Even stranger was the fact that she’d only had a week of waking up with her. Missing her after such a short amount of time was an odd feeling.

But Alli wasn’t about to complain. Things had changed, she could see that. She had a better view of life, a more balanced feeling about things. And while she wasn’t going to say she wasn’t going to get angry, she was definitely going to be more in control.

She jumped out of the shower and started to get ready. She missed Bea. But she’d missed working as well and she couldn’t wait to get back. In the back of her mind, she was already thinking about her inbox, about potential meetings, about projects that were unfinished.

But, she’d promised herself, she was going to leave the office by seven at the latest. She was going to eat better. And she was going to see Bea just as soon as she was done. They were having dinner and, if Alli played her cards right, Bea was going to be spending the night.

Who said you couldn’t have it all?

When she walked into her normal coffee shop, she graced the barista with a smile. “A latte with oat milk, an extra shot, and asprinkle of cinnamon, please.”

“Coming right up,” beamed the barista.

Alli waited patiently, took her coffee, and put a healthy tip in the tip jar. When she turned and almost caught the arm of another woman, she apologized and moved on.

Walking up to the big glass office building, her stomach had a twinge of sourness, but she was used to that. What she wasn’t used to was greeting the reception staff when she walked in, but she did it anyway. There was nothing wrong with being nice to people, she told herself. It was not a show of weakness to be friendly.

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