“Male pride,” Pip boomed again, seeming exasperated that I didn’t get it the first time.
Savannah put her hand on my arm. “What’s your biggest fear?”
I had to shake my head to clear the alcohol and panic. I thought about the reasons I’d left Blueball in the first place, fueled by not wanting to become my mother. Her entire world collapsed to just the inside of her house. “Uhh, maybe feeling empty and worthless?”
Savannah nodded. “Oh, good one. Mine would probably be boredom. If I’m bored, I get destructive.”
“Spiders.” Emmerleigh shivered.
“Mine is weak beer,” Pip, known for her love of thick German beer, made us laugh. Well, everyone except me. My gut was still churning.
“Basically, Colson feels like his worst fear is coming true again. He’s not enough to keep you by his side.” Em signaled the bartender for another round for all of us.
“Maybe he just needs some time to think things through? Process his fears? His anger?” Gabi offered a reasonable explanation for him leaving the state.
But all I saw was the parallels. I’d left him before. Maybe to outrun the hurt, he was trying to be the first one to leave. And I didn’t fucking like it. Not one bit.
I grabbed the refreshed gin and tonic and lifted it in the air. The girls all grabbed their drinks and lifted them, waiting for my toast.
“Let’s get a few things straight, ladies. I’m not going anywhere. You all are my family. Blueball is my home. And Colson is the love of my life. I’m going to fight to show him he’s more than enough.”
The girls cheered and we sipped our drinks, getting down to the brass tacks of a plan.
A plan to win back my ex-husband once and for all.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Colson
I should have thoughtthis through a little better. I’d showered at the end of my shift, so at least I didn’t stink, but I only had dirty clothes in my bag and not one toiletry item. My phone was about to die and the charger was back in my truck, which was parked at the airport back home. Somewhere in the airspace above Arizona it occurred to me that I was reacting out of anger and fear, something I told myself years ago I wouldn’t do anymore. What was it about that short woman that fired me up into a person I didn’t recognize?
“You going to eat those crackers or what?” the old lady next to me crowed several decibels louder than one should on an airplane.
I blinked out of my thoughts and handed her the bag of crackers the flight attendants had handed out earlier. She snatched it up and ripped it open like she hadn’t eaten in days.
“Big boy like you should be eating more.” It came out a bit garbled, considering she hadn’t finished swallowing hermouthful of crackers before she gave voice to her unwanted opinion. “You pining over a girl?”
The guy on the other side of me—thank you last-minute flight for the middle seat—turned up the volume on his headphones and turned away. I didn’t have the luxury of tuning her out since I didn’t bring headphones on this spontaneous trip.
“I’m just thinking. Quietly. In my head.”
The woman’s eyes were comically huge behind her wire-rimmed glasses. “A man? Thinking?” She started cackling.
Okay, well, I didn’t need to sit here and be insulted. Not with the mood I was in. I flipped my tray table up and stood, heading to the bathroom. Maybe she’d fall asleep before I got back to my seat. Luck was finally on my side. The woman’s mouth hung open as she leaned against the window, snoring as loudly as she talked. But my phone was sitting on my seat, plugged into her charging cord. I appreciated her helping my phone situation, but I was still very careful getting back in my seat, sure not to jostle her and wake her up.
When we landed in Texas, her kindness allowed me to call up a ride share to head to Boon’s condo downtown. The city was as busy as my thoughts, only amplifying the anger stewing in my gut. I wasn’t at all like Boon: I hated the city. I’d only visited him once since he was traded to this latest team. The fancy doorman at the entrance checked his list and let me head inside. Bass thumped down the hallway when the elevator doors opened on Boon’s floor. I groaned when I realized it was coming from his condo. I knocked, but no one answered. The door was unlocked, however, so I stepped right in.
To chaos.
Okay, it wasn’t exactly chaos. It was a party, but in my foul mood, they were pretty much the same thing. All the pretty people held drinks in their hands, dancing to the music or shouting at each other to be heard over it. I got a few glances,probably because I clearly didn’t fit in here. Maybe they thought the local fire department had been called for a disturbance. Either way, they gave me a wide berth as I pushed through, looking for Boon.
I found him in the kitchen, his hand on some woman’s hip, his smarmy grin guaranteeing there was bullshit coming out of his mouth as he told her something to make her throw back her head and laugh. That was the thing with Boon; he always had the right thing to say to bring a smile to your face. The woman shifted closer and said something back, which I missed because it was so fucking loud, even here in the kitchen.
“’Sup, asshole,” I shouted by way of greeting.
The woman startled and Boon’s head whipped up, transforming into a smile that split his face. The poor woman was forgotten in the blink of his brown eyes.
“Bro!” He pivoted and pulled me into a back-slapping embrace before he stepped back, his hands on my shoulders, as he studied me. “Dude. You been lifting weights? You’re jacked!”